RRick
What's going on? Hey! Hey! Stop pointing the gun at my wife!
She tried to rat on us.
She means rabbit.
Rabbit, yes!
S4 E5Dead And Unburied
JJody
...and I can only think of one explanation. It was the hand of God!
[to Tony] Can Gibbs arrest God?
I don't know. It's like The Thing trying to bring in The Hulk.
JJody
I come from a good Catholic family! When we swear to God, we mean it!
[McGee is photographing the victim and accidentally runs into Palmer]
There's no rush gentlemen, our patient isn't going anywhere.
I dunno Ducky, the old Gibbs is back.
The "old" Gibbs?
[enters the room] McGee, over here. Hands and knees. On the floor.
[goes down on all fours] Okay, um, you're not gonna step on me are you?
It's an odd decorating choice, although the corpse does give the place a certain lived-in look.
Much better. Before I smelled like dirt and sweat. Now I smell like dirt, sweat..[looks at bottle label]...and sandalwood.
[enters building] Good morning! [spots Tony at her desk] What are you doing at my desk?
Couldn't find my deodorant so I used yours.
No you didn't.
Yeah we're partners. What's the big deal?
A hair! [throws bottle into her trashcan]
Come on. You attach electrodes to men's testicles and you're getting squeamish about a hair? I'm not gonna feel bad. Those ground radar techs didn't show 'till dawn. McGee and I watched the sunrise together. It was very Brokeback Mountain.
He had me at "howdy."
How romantic. I'm sorry I missed it.
You see this fracture?
Well yeah, you're pointing right at it.
It's ok. I'm sure you find other things beautiful.
Like Gibbs breaking up a chic-fight?
I can't believe I missed that!
I've got good news. Guess what is now playing on McGee TV.
[Shows video to Abby on his cellphone]
[...]
This is my favorite part.
[Gibbs enters the lab unnoticed]
Which part?
Why would someone unbury a body? I can answer that. To send a message. Like, hi I'm dead. Never get engaged to two women at the same time.
Shooting someone in broad daylight is just dumb.
You're not thinking like a jealous woman, Ziva.
What does your gut tell you Boss?
[typing at his computer, nods to McGee] Take your shirt off.
Here we go.
[stares at Gibbs] I know it's kinda messy...
Your shirt McGee. Take it off, now.
[McGee takes his bloodied shirt off and puts it into the evidence bag while Tony and Ziva smirk]
Take it down to Abby. [McGee stares at him] Or would you rather wait for a search warrant?
Rebecca's DNA [desperately to Tony] Can I borrow one of your shirts?
[smiles at him] You're afraid all that white might burn out Abby's corneas?
Do not make me walk around like a sold date. Come on, help me out.
All right. I can't resist a damsel in distress. [takes shirt off and hands it to McGee] Here, take this. I'll get a fresh one.
[smirking from her desk] Wow. It's just like Chippendales. Without the bow ties or muscles.
S4 E6Witch Hunt
The boy saw a car leaving the scene that looked like a "Karuma." I'm not familiar with the model.
"Karuma" is Japanese for "car," Ziva.
Your description of the car is "car." Nice work, Officer David.
The Karuma's the name of a car in Grand Theft Auto III. It's a Chrysler Sebring Sedan.
McGeek with the save!
Look, I know what I saw. Someone policed the brass and tried to wipe up the blood.
Who, Probie-- the crime scene fairies? There's no one here!
Something just touched my foot. Something's under the couch!
Maybe it's the, uh, crime scene fairy, Tony.
I hate Halloween
Marital problems?
Well, according to someone called Scuttle Butt, he caught his wife cheating on him.
Scuttlebutt's not a person, Ziva. Scuttlebutt is what Marines call gossip.
And you wonder why I have a problem with your language.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.