I don't know what to get anybody. What do you think Tony needs?
An attitude adjustment.
Gibbs, you're not helping.
S6 E11Silent Night
I like everything about Christmas. Except for that Chipmunk song. And shopping... I never know what to get anyone. Especially Gibbs! What do you get for the guy who has nothing and wants... nothing.
Some squeaky shoes.
[startles, looking behind her] Hi, Gibbs!
[MTAC has been converted into a movie theater.]
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight you're all going to share in a DiNozzo family tradition: caramel popcorn, hot mulled cider, and the greatest, greatest Christmas movie of all time, It's a Wonderful Life.
[last lines; after Quinn goes into his daughter's home, Gibbs dials his cell phone.]
Hello?
Merry Christmas, Dad.
Merry Christmas, son.
S6 E12Caged
(on the phone with his mechanic) ...So, how much?
One octave or two?
Two.
[high-pitched] $600?!
Her name is Hannah, and she's asked me out to lunch, twice.
You? [blinks and considers]
Did your rocketship just take a nosedive?
No. It just landed on a different planet.
There is no doubt in my mind you will get that confession, McGee.
[looks from her to Tony and smiles] Thank you, Ziva. [leaves]
He's toast, isn't he?
Oh, yes. Burnt toast.
They haven't hurt McGee, have they?
We have not heard anything.
[holds evidence box] Got something for ya from Trimble's apartment, Abby. We need to figure all this stuff out before sunset.
Define 'before sunset'!
Before the sun goes down.
[looks frustrated and sighs, grabbing the box and heads to table]
The sun sets at around 5:02. So, does that mean we have until five oh one?
Before sunset.
That could be now. Not good enough! I can't take this. Every time you guys go out, and I never know if you're gonna make it back, [Tony and Ziva exchange a look as she mutters] and it's killing me. I can't sleep at night and I'm developing this sort of weird twitch.
Our work is sometimes dangerous, Abby.
Then get a safer job.
Then you wouldn't see us at all.
[frowns] True. Still...sucks!
I checked Trimble's phone records, Gibbs. One person called him over 150 times last month. It was another prison guard by the name of Brenda Carter.
Five calls a day. I give her an eight on the DiNozzo psycho chick meter. Ten being Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. Look at those eyes; crazy eyes!
[on the phone with his mechanic] You told me my car would be ready by the end of today...
One octave or two?
Listen up, because this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna take the first estimate and you're gonna reduce it by 10 percent. Then you're going to find my part, install my part and have my car parked upfront and ready for me when I walk out of this building in 32 minutes.
Wow. Who'd guess McGee would grow a pair in a women's prison?
I put away killers for a living, that's what I do. Now you do exactly as I told you and we won't have any problems, understood? Good, clock's ticking.
Wow, McGee, your time in the big house really changed you. I like it!
S6 E13Broken Bird
[seeing a large package on his desk] Oh, goody, they're here!
Goody? Who says goody?!
What is it?
[opens box, pulling out an old computer] This is my Mac SE. Got it for my eleventh birthday. [lovingly] She's my first!
This is going to get really strange, isn't it?
Going to?
You're very calm.
I am. If I keep going to Crazytown every time one of you gets hurt, I'm going to have to have my mail forwarded.
The last thing she said was "You killed my brother". Any idea why she would've said that?
Probably because I killed her brother.
Ducky!
Abby? Oh, how nice of you to visit.
Oh, they gave you morphine?
Just a drop.
Duck, can you tell me anything about the woman who attacked you?
My... my glasses?
[Gibbs puts them on.]
Oh, how nice of you to have held on to them while I went under the knife. Ironic, isn't it, that one knife should be the solution to... Mr. Palmer, would you please finish that thought for me?
Sure, doctor.
And you'll need to send for a replacement medical examiner. Uh, Jordan...
Dr. Hampton?
Yes. On my desk you'll find her number. While I myself lie here, getting much "numb-er." [chuckles] Nurse, more anesthetic, and don't spare the horses...
[Palmer looks at Abby in wonder.]
Okay, he's zonked out of his gourd, and he's still playing with words. Impressive.
Come on, baby, talk to me.
[enters with a] Fingerprint sheet.
Oh, hey. I was just talking to the knife. You want to talk knives?
Always.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.