(Bert the hippo farts, followed by a questioning look from Tony)
Abby: He's supposed to make that noise.
Tony: You have a stuffed animal that farts?
Abby: Yeah, it's cool huh...
Tony: Yeah, in a disturbing way.
Season Three

(Ducky and Palmer drive up with the car splattered with eggs)
Ziva: What happened to them?
Tony: I told you, it's Halloween.
Ducky: Sorry we're late, we had a run-in with some local youths.
Gibbs: Yeah, I can see that.
McGee: Did you get a good look at 'em?
Ducky: Oh, we did better than that. (to Palmer) Release the captives!
(Palmer slides open the door and three ninjas stumble out of the car)
Ninjas: Where are we? We said we're sorry!
Tony: Nice work, Palmer!
Palmer: Oh, it wasn't me, Tony. Dr. Mallard chased them three blocks!

(Gibbs and Ducky are in autopsy talking about Ari)
Ducky: One has to wonder what made him such a sadist.
Gibbs: I don't give a damn! I just want to kill the bastard!

(Gibbs starts to leave, then turns back for one last look at his team.)
Gibbs: Semper Fi.

(Tony shows the Bartender a picture of the DB.)
Bartender: Such a sweet countenance.
Tony: Sweet countenance?
Bartender: Yeah, that radiant look on her face.
Tony: She doesn't look radiant, she's dead.
Bartender: In that picture?
Tony: Yeah, she's dead.
Bartender: She's dead?
Tony: She's dead. Why do ya think her eyes are closed.
Bartender: I thought she was meditating.

(Tony watching a singer/dancer at the club, nodding his head up and down with the music)
Gibbs: Tony stop jumping up and down. We can't see.

(Tony, Ziva, and Carson watching Gibb's interrogation)
Tony: It's almost unfair interrogating junkies.
Ziva: It's like shooting fish in a pond.
Carson: I um�� I think you mean a barrel.
Ziva: Why would a fish be in a barrel?
Carson: Um... I, um... it's a good point. I never really thought about it before.
Ziva: Mm-hmm.
(Tony and Ziva looking at a vacation website)

(Ziva and Gibbs are talking in hospital room.)
Gibbs: We work together?
Ziva: Yes. I'm a Mossad officer attached to your team.
Gibbs: Mossad? When did they start doing that...
Ziva: It's been a year.
Gibbs: Don't feel bad, I worked for that...
Ziva: Ducky 10 years and you don't remember him!
Gibbs: Do you always finish people sentenc...
Ziva: Only when I'm in a hurry.

(Ziva remembers the idiom from 3.08)
Ziva: Oh! Listen to the pot call the kettle black. Got that right, didn't I?
Tony: No.
(McGee gives her a thumbs-up)
Ziva: Yes!

[Abby and McGee are asleep at their computers. Gibbs walks in.]
Gibbs: [whispers to Abby] Your computer's on fire.
Abby: [wakes up] AHH! McGee! My baby's french-frying! [starts typing furiously]
McGee: [wakes and starts typing] Checking internal core temperature!
[after a few seconds, Abby turns around]
Abby: That is so not funny, Gibbs!

[Abby comes up to the empty squadroom late at night when no one else is there. She sits at Gibbs' desk and puts on his glasses.]
Abby: [Imitating Gibbs] I heard that, DiNozzo. Another wise-ass comment like that, I'll smack you so hard, your grandchildren will feel it. [Looks at McGee's desk] Think it's funny, McGee? Wipe that smile off your face. [Looks at Ziva's desk] That goes for you, too, David. [Picks up the phone] Special Agent Gibbs! [Speaking normal, slowly takes off Gibbs' glasses] You're standing behind me, aren't you?
Gibbs: Yep. [comes over] Feeling very secure about your job, are you, Abs?
Abby: Um, not so much anymore.

[Abby has been kindly invited by Alejandro Rivera to speak at a symposium in Mexico City]
McGee: You're not going to go, are you?
Abby: Are you kidding? Why wouldn't I go?
McGee: Well, I bet he just wants to find out how many tats you have.
Abby: Maybe I have a new one that you're never going to see.

[Abby has come up to the squad room to take pictures of the dead man.]
Abby: Why do I feel like everyone's staring at me?
McGee: Because they are.
Abby: Did I do something wrong?
Tony: Have you ever been to Disneyland, Abby?
Abby: Every summer.
Tony: Yeah. You know those camera toting tourists with white socks up to their knees wearing fannypacks?
Abby: Well, yeah. We spend half the time laughing about [Abby looks down- she is wearing white knee length socks and a plaid skirt and has a camera around her neck]-- oh, my God. I've turned into my Uncle Larry.

[Abby is talking with Mrs. Mallard in her lab]
Mrs. Mallard: [smiles] Did you know, that without those longshoreman tattoos, and that dog collar, you are the exact spitting image of my sister Gloria?
Abby: Thank you!
Mrs. Mallard: [frowns] I hated her.

[Abby reports finding no gunshot residue on the suspect's clothes.]
Gibbs: He could have worn gloves-
Abby: Or changed his clothes, I'm way ahead of you, Gibbs. That is why I am running a full residual analysis on all of Porter's wardrobe. [as Gibbs] How long, Abby? [as herself] Well it's gonna take some time, and the stuff doesn't smell very good; I don't think that laundry was a big priority... [Gibbs] Abs! [herself] Um, two hours? As soon as I know something, you'll know something. [Gibbs] You got one! Aything else? [herself] Yes, as a matter of fact. This... [hands him a cup of coffee] is for you.
Gibbs: Why?
Abby: For getting me out of sensitivity training. We were about to do trust falls and those guys in Administration have... wandering hands. [as Gibbs] Just give me their names, Abs, and I'll break 'em for you! [as herself] I know you would, Gibbs. And that is why I love you. [Gibbs smiles, kisses Abby on the cheek, and leaves]