Ziva: So this is where a redthroat would hang out after being overseas for months.
Tony: It's not redthroat, it's redneck.
Ziva: Oh.
Tony: And I think we've found the entire cast of Hee Haw.
Ziva: Over there. That's him.
Tony: With his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl?

Ziva: So, EJ is gone?
Tony: And safe, for a change.
Ziva: May I ask where?
Tony: Someplace quiet, with someone she can count on. Hopefully.
Ziva: That is the word, is it not? Hopefully. Even when you think you can count on someone, you often cannot.
Tony: Do I detect a blip on the Ray-dar?
Ziva: I would rather not discuss it.
Tony: Well, since EJ and I parted friends, Agent Cruz seems to have some communication issues.
Ziva: Yeah, and I'm losing my patience.
Tony: As you well should. [walks over to her desk] You know, you and I, we have a lot in common in that respect.
Ziva: [laughs] You think?
Tony: Oh, I don't think. I know.
Ziva: Well, then I am grateful to have someone in my life who is just as romantically dysfunctional as I am.
Tony: Agent David, do you really consider me to be in your life? [Ziva looks down at her mobile phone as it rings] No. Seriously?
Ziva: What should I say?
Tony: Say hello.
Ziva: Oh, Ok

Ziva: So, what exactly are you looking for in Miss Right?
Tony: [laughs] Well, aside from the obvious physical requirements, I don't know. I guess she'd be a very independent woman, intelligent, successful, professional.
Ziva: Okay, just one question: what would this woman, possibly, see in you?
[They smile and walk away from each other]

Ziva: Something's on your mind. I can see your wheels churning.
Tony: Butter churns, David. Wheels turn.
McGee: The witnesses on the ground are telling the same story. There was an explosion and the plane began an immediate descent. [notices Tony's seriousness] What's with him?
Ziva: He's thinking.
Tony: This isn't the case du jour, you know. This is life calling collect saying, "Hey, I'm short. Appreciate me."

Ziva: That is total salami!
Tony: Baloney.

Ziva: The boy saw a car leaving the scene that looked like a "Karuma." I'm not familiar with the model.
Gibbs: "Karuma" is Japanese for "car," Ziva.
Tony: Your description of the car is "car." Nice work, Officer David.
McGee: The Karuma's the name of a car in Grand Theft Auto III. It's a Chrysler Sebring Sedan.
Tony: McGeek with the save!

Ziva: The second word was knesset - the word you removed. Beit knesset - the nearest synagogue. But just one question: why did you not trust me?
Liat: You're not with us.
Ziva: Aba! Show yourself!
Liat: Are you an idiot?
Ziva: We're not looking for the afikoman. He can hear us if we call him.
Liat: Yes, but you don't know who else might hear.
Ziva: Aba!
Liat: [grabbing Ziva by the shoulder] You stop!
[Liat and Ziva fight on the bimah]
Eli: Stop this! [enters with Malachi] What are you doing?
Ziva: [pointing to Eli] He's coming with me, Malachi.
Liat: He's not going anywhere.
Eli: Liat, you do not answer for me.
Ziva: Hadar is dead. Director Vance is nearly so. Everyone has questions for you.
Eli: Then you take me to NCIS. You will have your answers.

Ziva: There is always another monster.
Tony: Yep.
Ziva: I mean, we pursue them, but we just keep making targets of ourselves.
Tony: Better us than someone who didn't sign up for it.
Ziva: I don't think I can take anymore. [steps into Tony's arms]
Tony: Hey, we're going to get him, okay?
[Elevator door opens to reveal Abby and McGee hugging]
Tony: [motions with his arm] Bring it in.
[Abby and McGee join Tony and Ziva for a group hug]

Ziva: These are ocean charts. [points] This is where the Delilah was abandoned.
Tony: Calafuego. Treasure hunters.
Ziva: Is that was this is all about? Treasure?
Tony: Pirate treasure.
Ziva: Well this looks like David Jones' Locker.
Tony: Davy Jones'. He used to sing with The Monkees.
Ziva: Real monkeys?
Tony: I envy your brain sometimes.

Ziva: These chocolates are delicious!
Gibbs: Hey, dad. Stop making my team fat.
Ziva: Gibbs, why didn't you tell us your father was coming?
Gibbs: I didn't think he'd actually show. Go ahead, have another one, bubble butt.
Tony: It's my metabolism slowing with age. It's nothing a post-holiday cleanse won't cure.

Ziva: This is nice. Being able to work without Tony's incessant babbling. It is almost as if he cannot go on for more than thirty seconds without hearing his own voice. You know, the truly amazing thing is that he fails to realize just how irritating he is to those around him.
Gibbs: Ziva!
Ziva: Yes, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Babbling.

Ziva: Those are none of your business, those belong to McGee.
Tony: They're funny.
Ziva: They're private.
Tony: They're self-help CD's McLonely's hearts ordered...um, download your destiny. Three easy payments of $19.95 each satisfaction guarranted or your money back.
Ziva: Maybe McGee's already satisfied.
Tony: Well maybe there's an easter bunny too.
Ziva: Tony...
Voice: Anyone can achieve their fullest potiental. Who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our [Tony laughs]
Ziva: Oh my god, turn that off!
Tony: I love this guy! Sort of a poor man Shatner.
Voice: We should never allow our fears or the exceptions of others to set the frontiers of our [Ziva shuts it off]
Ziva: I've heard enough maybe your the one who needs the self-help.
Tony: Well, see that's where your wrong Ziva. I'm already enlightened.

Ziva: Tony!! [jumps on Tony to cover him from a bomb blast]
Tony: This is nice. I miss the old Ziva.
Ziva: I can tell.
Tony: Don't flatter yourself. That's just my knee.
Ziva: So, Matt Lane planted a bomb then stayed behind to unpyer a game rather than flee the scene.
Tony: We told you Ziva.
Gibbs: It's baseball.
Ziva: Huh
Tony and McGee: Nice
Ziva: You two need a moment.
Tony: You'll understand. Eventually
Ziva: Will I? (Goes to grab mitts and baseball)
Ziva: Hey Gibbs, Have a catch?
McGee: Wow, look at this. So, you do know a little somethin about baseball. Huh!
Ziva: Yeah. My father taught me.

Ziva: Tony, have you been drinking?
Tony: No. [sniffs breath] Why?
Ziva: I could have sworn I just heard you thank McGee.
Tony: I appreciate his insight.
Ziva: [skeptically] On what?
Tony: Baseball.
McGee: Specifically the implementation of instant replay in baseball. If we have the technology, why not use it?
Ziva: I do not know what is more disturbing: the fact that you both agree on something or that McGee is a fan of a sport.

Ziva: Tony, I have a question.
Tony: Shoot.
Ziva: If and when you meet my friend, and I emphasize 'if', what will you say?
Tony: Be careful. [chuckles insecurely] Um, handle with care; contents priceless.
Ziva: Goodnight, Tony.
Tony: Goodnight, Ziva.