Ziva: Hey, guys? [Tony and McGee arrive to see Ziva looking into a dumpster] Someone is going to have to go though this -- this is disgusting.
Tony: Last time I checked, I was senior field agent.
McGee: It's too bad we don't have a probationary agent with us.
Tony and McGee: But we do!
Ziva: You're going to pull rank on me?! [watches as they turn and leave]

Ziva: I checked Trimble's phone records, Gibbs. One person called him over 150 times last month. It was another prison guard by the name of Brenda Carter.
Tony: Five calls a day. I give her an eight on the DiNozzo psycho chick meter. Ten being Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. Look at those eyes; crazy eyes!

Ziva: I do not know what you are investigating, and I do not need to know, but ever since we lost Levin and Franks and EJ left, NCIS has been through a lot. We have been through a lot. We need some time.
Tony: We. As you in you and me?
Ziva: That's not what I meant.
Tony: Well what did you mean then, Ziva?
Ziva: All I'm saying is, look out for yourself. Please.

Ziva: I found candy leftover from Valentine's day.
Tony: Candy from who?
Ziva: Why does it matter?
Tony: It matters because you didn't eat it and so that person must not mean very much to you. It means something!
Ziva: It means nothing.
Tony: Well I'm glad I wasn't your valentine.
Ziva: So am I!

Ziva: I know what it's like to lose a team member, especially one you care deeply for. You learn there is no rhyme or reason to dying, good or bad it's just completely out of your hands.
EJ: Agent Levin died because I screwed up.
Ziva: No, Agent Levin died because it was his time. There was nothing you could do about it.

Ziva: I know what you're doing. You're hiding behind all these jokes, and I know what you're hiding from.
Tony: Really? What's that?
Ziva: What everyone who is afraid to love hides from: getting hurt.
Tony: It's not just me that I'm worried about hurting, Ziva.
Ziva: That's because you're a good person.

Ziva: I remember my first fight. I was eight. Shemer Rubenstein.
Tony: Sounds like a real stud.
Ziva: One punch and it was over.
Tony: What did Shemer Rubenstein do to deserve the wrath of Ziva?
Ziva: He said he liked me.

Ziva: I would like to have seen Gibbs shoot that computer.
McGee: Well, if I don't get his email working you may get a second chance.
Ziva: I almost shot Tony last night. We were stuck for almost three hours before the firemen were able to open up the fire doors.
Tony: And you loved every second of it.

Ziva: I'll call Tony.
McGee: I'll call Abby. [they both run]
Ziva & McGee: [via webcam] Gibbs has a father!
Tony & Abby: Tell me everything!

Ziva: I'm driving you home. [jangles Tony's keys and smiles]
Tony: Probie. [looks hopefully to McGee]
McGee: Ah, Ziva, actually I should probably drive him home tonight.
Ziva: Why is that?
Abby: Maybe he wants to live.

Ziva: I'm just being curious.
McGee: About when I lost my virginity.
Ziva: No, you misunderstood. I'm not asking when you lost your virginity but if you lost it.

Ziva: Okay, so how many amendments to the Constitution?
Gibbs: The Bill of Rights is the first ten, prohibition is eighteen. I'm guessing twenty-three.
Ziva: Twenty-seven!
Gibbs: Nobody likes a smartass, David.
Ziva: Why do I have to study all this and you don't?!
Gibbs: I was born here!

Ziva: Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you?
Tony: [nods] You're welcome. So, are you glad to see me?
Ziva: You should not have come.
Tony: All right, then. Good catching up. I'll be going now. [tries to stand, but is chained to the chair] Oh, yeah, I forgot. [chuckles] Taken prisoner!
Ziva: Are you all right, McGee?
McGee: I'm just glad you're alive.
Ziva: You thought I was dead?
Tony: Oh, yeah.
Ziva: Then why are you here?
Tony: McGee -- McGee didn't think you were dead.
Ziva: Tony! Why are you here?
Tony: [painful pause as Tony tries fight the truth serum] Couldn't live without you, I guess.
Ziva: So you will die with me. You should have left me alone.
Tony: Okay. Tried, couldn't. Listen, you should know I've taken some kind of truth serum, so if there's any questions you don't know the answer to --
Ziva: I did not ask for anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me. I do not deserve it.
Tony: Is that what you're doing out here? Some kind of monastic experience? Penance?
Ziva: It is justified.
Tony: Get over yourself.
Ziva: I have.

Ziva: Sit down
Carmano: I ain't sittin' down.
Ziva: Sientate! Or do you want la bonita to sit your ass down?

Ziva: Slow drivers.
Tony: Bad drivers.
Ziva: What is so hard? You go as fast as possible, when something gets in your way, you turn.
Tony: You're quoting Better Off Dead. I told you to watch that.