“The Voyeur's Web” · Season 3, Episode 6
In this episode: Ziva David (9), Tony DiNozzo (7), Timothy McGee (5), Leroy Jethro Gibbs (3), Abby Sciuto (3)
Where did all these people come from?
Didn't you see the signs? It's yard sale day.
I see. And do Marines sell their yards often?
No. It's actually when people gather stuff they don't want anymore and sell them in their yards.
Why would anybody want to buy somebody else's junk?
One man's junk is another man's treasure.
In Israel we have a saying: "zevel, zeh zevel". [Tony and McGee look at Ziva, confused] "Crap is crap."
Which proves what I've long suspected - despite the conservative image, Americans really love their porn.
Hey, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Do what you do best.
What, you mean screwing up?
No, finding answers when no one else can.
That was nice of you.
Never kick a probie when he's down, Ziva.
I thought the expression was "dog."
Same difference.
Okay, this guy isn't smart enough to cover his tracks.
He's doing pretty well so far.
He does online auctions from his laptop. Super collectibles.
Ultra collectibles and auctions dot com. Can we trace him?
If we can pinpoint some of his items. Do you know what he sells?
Star Wars stuff.
That narrows it down to like 50 million people.
Uh, some kind of figurine. There's only three of them?
Yoda? C3PO? Storm trooper?
Wookiee. It is a special edition prototype from 1978. It comes equipped with an ammo belt. There are only three in existence.
A Star Wars junkie, huh?
Not especially.
She has a photographic memory, probie, not a social disorder.
If things get hairy, just follow my lead.
I don't need a babysitter, Tony, I have been in hundreds of these situations.
Never with me. As far as I'm concerned, you're a probie.
I've never had sex with you either - does that mean I'm a virgin?
Don't be embarrassed Tony, I find the taste of honeydust to be extremely erotic.
What a coincidence, so do I.
(head slaps Tony) I don't.
You really believe this is an obsessed voyeur? The women identity's were protected by masks.
Half a mask.
Still, the odds of finding him off a list that size...
Are better than the odds of you winning this argument.
What do you have Abs?
A PhD in porn. I spent the last six hours searching through webcam files trying to find some kind of lead and I have consumed more porn than Tony has in his lifetime. OK maybe not, but I have watched a lot of smut.
You learn anything?
I'm not nearly as flexible as I should be.
Anything about the case?
Are you sure these are corpse-smelling dogs?
Of course. That's why they're alerting to McGee. He's been a dead man since yesterday.
How did you end up here, McGee?
Well, I rode in the back of the van you may have noticed my screaming as Tony ran that light.
Not here here, at NCIS. I know Tony's story, what's yours?
You want the long version or the short version?
Oh, there's only one version. McGee showed up on our doorstep like a little lost poodle.
That is not true Ziva!
No, you're right. It was more like a St Bernard.
Guess it was worth it then.
Worth what?
Watching over twenty hours of porn with Chip.
What's the matter, Chip? Don't like watchin' porn with me?
I don't really watch explicit material with my peers, ma'am, uh, I don't really watch it at all.
Not buying it, Chip.
And why is that?
Two reasons. One, you're male, and two, you're breathing!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
