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S1 E15

Napoleon Dynamite · Season 1, Episode 15

Pedro, Rico and others in “Unfinished Business”

[Napoleon lays on a wooden table chugging a whole bottle of root beer]

[using a stethoscope to hear the rumbling and gurgling sounds in Napoleon's stomach] The root beer has reached the cabbage. I think we're a go.

Initiating pepper cloud. [sprays a pepper cloud on Napoleon's face]

Any last words, Napoleon?

Pedro, if I die, have a hawk sprinkle on my ashes in Bear Lake.

As you wish.

Snee-furp in 3, 2, and 1.

[Napoleon groans and grunts as his stomach rumbles and passes wind, launching himself into the sky]

[coming out of the house] Have you boys seen my cabbage? Oh, there it is! [takes a bite of the cabbage] What you idiots looking at? [looks up, seeing Napoleon about to fall on her]

[falling from the sky] Get out of the way! Get out of the way! [lands on her, breaking the picnic table]

[grunting] Get off of me! [coughs] Oh.

[gets up] Sorry I didn't explode, guys. I totally forgot to yawn.

Are you okay, Grandma?

No, I'm not okay! Your dingbat brother just broke my transition lenses!

Boy, you really done it now. A good pair of photo-grays will set you back $28. And that's without the croakies!

$28?! I'll never have that kind of money!

Now, Carlinda, I keep telling you, these nephews of mine need to get a job! [Carlinda annoyingly smacks him in the back of his head] Ow!

Don't tell me how to raise my boys! Napoleon, you're getting a job to pay for these.

What about Kip?

Kip's too frail for today's modern workplace. Besides, he's gonna be my eyes. I can't see a thing.

[Her POV shows her vision all blurry]

Why can't I be your eyes?

Because I'm way better describing stuff. Like how I always say, a baby's hand looks like a starfish.

Whoa. That is dead-on accurate, Kipper.

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