[Betty and Jane play with baby chicks]
Baby chicks, too...
Hey, they're women-- oh.
S6Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm (short)
[As everyone has dinner]
Living on a farm makes you hungry and aunt Helen certainly is a good cook.
MAMike [as Narrator]
Given her limitations.
CCrow
Jerry Lee Lewis joins the family for dinner.
Ah, yes, now's the time for Uncle Jim's fundamentalist dogma.
SAServo [as Betty]
But I don't like food!
Look at all the wonderful things to eat.
CCrow
At restaurants.
It takes all kinds of food to build up muscles and let us bigger and stronger.
Mostly just butter.
Susie drains the last of her Dirty Banana.
CACrow [as Jane]
That's why I'm burning my bra.
Repressed emotions help the evening pass without incident.
Mmm, good white, hearty white bread for white, white people.
As the summer passed, everything seemed to grow. The corn was knee high on George when he came. Now it's taller than he is.
George is clearly shrinking.
The summer is over, and George and Betty are waiting for their parents to take them back to the city.
MCMike and Crow [as George and Jane]
FREEDOM!
[Their parents drive up to the farm]
SAServo [as George and Jane's father]
Just throw them their winter clothes and then floor it!
CACrow [as George]
Hey, they're driving right by-- Wait! Wait!
[The short ends with everyone waving as they drive off]
CACrow [as Uncle Jim]
Goodbye! We'll send you that arm if we find it!
MAMike [as George]
So long, you corn-shucking suckers!
S6Bloodlust! (movie)
[Over the opening title]
The story of Wisconsin sausage.
BBalleau
[towards Tony] Tony; I have reconsidered.
[as Balleau, shooting Tony in the stomach with a crossbow bolt] John Steinbeck in Of Mice and Murder.
[as Tony screams in pain and dies] Rail! Rail against the dying of the-
S6The Skydivers (movie)
[The opening credits list over three dozen actors.]
Oh, I know what this is, this is an "I-can't-pay-you-but-I'll-put-your-name-in-the-credits" cast list.
S6Young Man's Fancy (short)
[As the short begins, Judy is ironing while listening to the radio.]
She's listening to her to dehumidifier.
Yes, teens dig lush orchestral arrangements.
RARadio Announcer
12 o'clock and time for the headlines of the latest news of the day. According to the latest bulletins-- [Judy turns off the radio]
CACrow [as Radio Announcer]
Ironing can be deadly.
[Judy walks around the kitchen, rattling an eggbeater in an empty bowl to try and get Alex's attention.]
CCrow
Um, has anybody noticed that the daughter is psychotic?
S6The Sinister Urge (movie)
[as a police car changes its model during a scene transition]
Hey, the car turned from a Ford into a Plymouth!
CCrow
That'll happen...
RMr. Romaine
I read in the morning paper that the police department have assigned a special detail to clear up this silly dirty picture business. As a taxpayer, I demand... [begins hitting his palm with his fist]
CCrow
Ow! Ow ow ow!
RMr. Romaine
Put those men on important crimes like robberies and murders, and those gangs of young hoodlums that roam the street. Things that'll protect an honest citizen like myself. Spending all that money on such silly things, as a few girly pictures that never hurt anyone.
LCLt. Carson
"Never hurt anyone?!" For your information, Mr. Taxpayer, the dirty picture racket can be directly connected to a good percentage of the major crimes in this city!
RMr. Romaine
Just how?
MAMike [as Carson]
Well, very indirectly.
LCLt. Carson
It would take a psychiatrist to explain it to you, but I can tell you that we've got three murders on our hands. Three young girls who posed for such pictures! Found in the park. Tortured! Mutilated! Murdered! Here! [shows pictures]
MAMike [as Carson]
Uh, here's murdered, here's tortured, where's mutilated? There it is...
LCLt. Carson
Some characters will steal or kill just to get their hands on this stuff. It's worse than dope for them! Mr. Taxpayer, the smut picture racket is worse than kidnapping, or dope peddling...
CCrow
No it isn't!
LCLt. Carson
... Show me a crime, and I can show you a picture that could have caused it. Have I made myself clear?
MAMike [as Romaine]
It's a vague connection, I admit, but...
LCLt. Carson
Do you have a daughter, Mr. Romaine?
CACrow [as Carson]
Would she be interested in the smut picture racket?
[Romaine slowly gets up and walks silently to the door]
SAServo [as Romaine]
Uhhhhh...
MAMike [as Carson]
Would you like to choose a different category, sir?
SAServo [as Romaine]
Hmmmmm.... daughter...uh, daughter... is a daughter the thing with the wheel and- oh forget it, I'm thinking of a bike. Let me call my wife. Daughter, you say? Daughter... huh...
RMr. Romaine
Yes... I have two daughters... [leaves looking incredibly somber]
CACrow [as Romaine]
And a puppy.
At least I think they're daughters. Hope I'm thinking of the right thing- let me get back to you on that.
[as Gloria and Johnny talk about the ramifications of the recent police raid on her smut picture business, and their plans moving forward]
CCrow
I'm learning a lot about porn!
[after Gloria enters the room after leaving briefly in the same scene]
MAMike [as Gloria]
The was a good crap!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.