Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

1930 total quotes


[Student council members raise their hands to vote to expel cheater Johnny from their ranks]
Mike, Crow, Servo: Give us Barabbas! Barabbas!

[Students are shown at college.]
Mike: Latka Gravas goes to class.
Crow [as Latka]: Thank you veddy much.

[Sue stares thoughtfully into the middle distance as Mr. Hall talks]
Crow:[distantly, as if in a flashback, while Servo and Mike mimick gunfire and explosions] MARINES, WE ARE LEAVING!
[Sue suddenly snaps out of her reverie]
Mike [as Sue]: Sorry, back in Da Nang there for a minute.
Racket Girls (movie)

[Sultry Liz slips out of her kimono, revealing a black bra and leopard-print panties.]
Servo: Oh, Mommy!
Joel [as Announcer]: Honey West!
Crow: Joel, I thought underwear was supposed to match.

[Super-spy Martin sees the statuesque Dr. Lin Yung standing in one of a pair of huge birdcage-like duplication cells.]
Joel: Ah! It's Malibu Barbie Torture Chambers!
Servo: Neat!
[Cut to close-up on Dr. Yung.]
Crow [as Dr. Yung]: [in "Chinese" accent] Hi. I am new Asian Barbie.

[Suzy and Frankie sneak into the hangar, where white skydiving helmets peek out between folded chutes.]
Mike: Oh, no! The skydivers have been laying their huge eggs!

[Talking about the advantage of easily taking inventory with the freezer]
Narrator: One glance, and you know if the cabinet requires filling.
Servo: Just one glance, don't look back.

[Tanya meets Manston in some ruins near the Soviet missile base.]
Manston: Did Lars give you the TNT?
Crow [as Tanya]: He gave me the T and the N, but not the other T. And I had the A.

[Tanya, with long dark hair and apparently wearing no undergarments, runs through the woods.]
Servo: Lucy Bra-less!

[Teacher Miss Martin demonstates good posture by walking slowly and stately.]
Narrator: ...eyes are straight, the abdomen is in, the back is straight. Arms swing easily at the sides.
Servo [as Narrator]: Here, she re-enacts her first DUI.

[Ted Nelson is making soup, and grabs the hot part of the pot by mistake.]
Ted Nelson: AADGKA!
Servo: Ah, aadgka, of course.

[Tee sets up an explosive device at the mouth of the Storehouse.]
Servo: Tee pities the fool who gets in his way.

[Tee stops Baydool just as a hammer falls from a roof in front of them.]
Servo [as Tee]: Please, hammer, don't hurt 'im!

[Tee, Leonardo and Thena set off on horseback after a confusing scene of exposition.]
Servo: Well, this movie has lost me. It's lost me and it's trotting off without me.

[Temple Foster is listed in the credits.]
Servo: Ah, Temple Foster, where they worship Australian beer.