Max Ugh, Mr. B Natural. There's no way out, Kinga! We can't control when the movies begin or end!
Uh, well... j- just sit down. Maybe it won't be so bad.
“Mr. B. Natural”
In this episode: Max (9), Kinga Forrester (9), Mr. B Natural (5), Buzz Turner (2)
[as Phil Patton's directing credit is shown]
Phil Patton, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!
MMax
I just love the name Patton. So strong and... and viral!
Mr. B Natural, at your service. The spirit of music, that's me! The spirit of fun in music. And I've been around an awful long time. Knew your father, I did. And your grandmother. And don't be too sure I wasn't in the garden with Mr. and Mrs. Adam.
She's the devil?
Why, you should know me. The spirit of music's inside all of you. In you...
MMax
Peaches.
In you...
Herb...
In all of you!
MAMax [as Mr. B Natural]
Where your soul used to be!
I usually hang around on this music staff, but when I get a message for help, I go off to appear before people! Especially young people, when I think I can do 'em some good.
MMax
Uh oh, hold on...
JJeanie
Honest, these records are the greatest.
KAKinga [as Jeanie]
What's N.W.A. mean?
[as Mr. B Natural appears out of Buzz Turner's locker]
MMax
You can't be within a thousand feet of a school, Mr. B Natural!
Mr. B what?
Natural! Shouldn't be surprised, boy. Whether you know it, or not, you sent for me. When you reached for that music over there to make you feel better, I got your message. You awakened me!
MMax
Damn!
You mean you've been hiding here in my room all that time, and I never even noticed?
No boy, I don't mean that! I mean, you awaken the spirit of music inside you! That's me! Your spirit of music! That's my name, boy! B Natural!
This is so complicated.
Look here, I've been visiting an eight-year-old friend of mine who woke me up recently.
Huh?
Talked him into playing the French horn, I did. You should hear him! [imitates a French horn and laughs]
MMax
Oh, watch your back, Reggie Watts.
Because he wanted to. He wanted the fun of it. That's why he can play that piece so easy! Wait 'til he grows up and finds out how hard it is. [laughs]
KAKinga [as Mr. B Natural]
Ha ha ha, then he'll die!
It's because he's young. He's not afraid.
MAMax [as Mr. B Natural]
He's foolish! Hee hee hee ha ha!
[as Mr. B Natural does a "dignified" march to a French horn tune]
Nothing sparks self esteem like a North Korean military march.
You like music?
Sure sounds like fun, and I'd like to have some of it too!
MAMax [as Mr. B Natural]
Yeah, first taste is free, kid.
SSalesman
Years of know-how make the best instrument. If that craftsman stops spinning that sousaphone bell for a second...
KAKinga [as salesman]
He receives an electric shock.
SSalesman
The best instruments are uniform. Every one is exactly like every other of the same kind.
MAMax [as salesman]
Like white people in the suburbs.
[as Buzz receives his trumpet]
MAMax [as Buzz]
I'm gonna join Reel Big Fish.
[as Buzz takes a trumpet solo at the dance]
Hey Dizzy, it's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin Gillespie? You know that new sound you been looking for? Well listen to this!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.