Claire, Phil and others in “Pilot”

What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun? Deal with this.

Buddy, uncool.

That's it? No. The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him.

We were serious about that?

Yes, we were, and now you have to follow through.

I'm so sorry!

Liar. Go.

He's got a birthday party.

What's more important here, dad?

You can shoot him afterwards. He'll be home at 2:00.

I can't shoot him at 2:00. I'm showing a house at 2:00.

What about 3:00?

No, he's got a soccer game at 3:00, and then-- Oh, we got to leave for that dinner thing at 5:00. 4:15. We could shoot him at 4:15.

Yeah, I guess that works for me. [Claire writes "Shoot Luke" on schedule. Luke groans.] Sorry, dude. It's on the calendar.