[In locker room] Finlay? [Whispers] Check your messages. Might find a little... present there.
What is it?
Check it out. Enjoy.
God. Is she taking a shit?
She's taking the Mother Teresa of all shits, dude.
Her face is all contorted! What the fuck?
I know! It's enough to put you off her, isn't it? Ugh, I can't watch... oh, my God!
Consider yourself cured of your childish infatuation.
Why have you sent me a video of Jess taking a shit?
Eh?
Yeah, I got one of those, too. I thought it was one of those e-greeting cards.
Are you fucking kidding?
God.
Shit! [Runs out front door to lakeside promenade to Jess on her phone and knocks her phone sending it flying out of her hand into the lake] Morning! Good morning, Jessica!
What the fuck are you doing? That's my phone!
Yeah, I know. I've only gone and bloody liberated you. Freed you from the tyrannies of freakin' texting. You free now? Just take off your shackles. Get rid of 'em. Throw it in there. [in sing-song] Free Nelson Mandela, Shoes too small to fit these feet. [Speaking normally] He should have gone to Clarks. They do have a bit of a wider fit.
You're paying for a new phone.
What do you mean? You don't have insurance? Bloody hell. Well, some people might call that a bit irresponsible. You know what I mean? [Jess gives him a look] Not me, I think it's adorable. I call it adorable.
I call it not having a fucking phone. [Storms off]
Adorable! Fuck!
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