Joyce quotes from Mike & Molly

Played by Swoosie Kurtz · 4 quotes

Played by Swoosie Kurtz

3rd most-quoted character in Mike & Molly: in 4 of its 20 quotes
Most scenes with: Molly (2)

Lines by Joyce 2

Joyce

I know he's not your father, but he treats me like a queen. And you can crack walnuts on his johnson.

Joyce

When I die, pull out the stops; I want to look peaceful but do-able.

Look, I have no interest in pouring hot wax on my lady business and ripping all the hair out.

Eighteen months, four days, five hours, sweetie. I can have that wax heated up lickity split.

Joyce

And then he can get at it lickity split.

All right, maybe a little off the sides. But we should probably have a safe word.

Joyce

Well, I always just scream 'Ouch, my hoo ha!'

Mike's taking me to "La Boheme"

Joyce

The opera? Have you told him that Elmer Fudd isn't in it?