Don’t take this the wrong way, Pickles, but...your brother’s kind of, hm...kind of a weird, greedy dick, y’know?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Look, Pickles! Look how great your brother’s doing!
...uh, where am I looking?
Look at his house-room!
What, you converted the attic.
Look, he has an all-in-one fax-machine! [The fax machine is sitting on a piece of wood propped up by cinder-blocks.] He’s a professional! Go give him a hug!
SSeth
Feels good, doesn't it? Fuck yeah. Hugging your own brother. Being close to his fuckin' face like this. [unintelligible...lots of swearing]. Look at fuckin' Dethklok in my fuckin' house-room! Ha! I'm calling Mitch and Bobby, they won't fuckin' believe this. I'm fuckin' excited about you guys throwin' me a bachelor party! Fuck! Oh, and by the way, this is little Amber, the love of my fuckin' heart. Wanna see an angel, go on, turn around.
[watching an engaged Seth get a lap-dance from a stripper] Boy, there's nothing like love, is there?
No, it's great!
He's really gonna be a good husband.
Who are those goofballs?
Oh, those are Seth's pals, y'know, a couple of high school dropouts who scam on teenage chicks and steal and run crystal meth houses, y'know, beat up kids, rob, lie, possibly kill.
Awesome!
MMitch
Let's go, rich bitch!
BBobby
Hey, fuckin' throw down some cash, we're getting Seth a fuckin' lap dance.
MMitch
Yeah, rich bitch!
SStripper
How 'bout a H-Job?
Heys, Pickle! Try nots to gets Hepastitis Cs from dats! Yeah, those girls are pretty skankys.
Yeah, those girls are...I'd do 'em.
Yeah, I do dems too.
[nervously] Should we call it a night?
SSeth
Oh no you fuckin' don't, I just fuckin' ordered shots!
He's trying to escape, get him!
Nooo! Nooo, noo, let me go!
[grabs him] What, you were gonna run away and leave us here?!
I didn't know! I didn't know! I didn't know it was gonna be like this! I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know—[Murderface punches him several times.] Stop hitting me!
Can't help it! [punches him again]
Did you hear that speech, everybody's on his side, they — let's leave...let's leave now, let's go! Let's go!
Don't be stupid, Pickles.
Did you hear him, talkin' about Dethklok business endeavors—
I know, Pickles, I know, look; we can't leave. Not yet. [pause] It's just too funny.
It's too hilarious!
Man, it's really good...
SSeth
Hey, Pickles! I need your uh, y'know, credit card for a second.
He's getting away again, get him!
[desperately] No! No! No—
Huh, the mid-west. Whoa. A bunch of Swedes cames over two hundred years ago and got fat and ugly. Heh, I loves it.
[drunk] Aaaaw, you know it! Haa hooo! Fats and ugly- [gags and spills his drink]
[annoyed] Takes it easy on the sauce.
Aw, yous... takes this on the sauce, yous nots the boss of me. I gonna go gets schnapps, you wants one?
Yeah...
Mes gonna do solo albums. All Toki. It's gonna be called Toki... IS THE KING!!! Oh, hold on. Mmm- [gags] Oh I got to throws up- [gags] throws up and takes a nap. [throws up on his suit] GOOD NIGHTS! [passes out]
This is great. This is some good drama.
You can't pay for this.
You can't. It...it simply is.
It's like an eclipse or something, it's just, you gotta be there.
Guys, we gotta leaves, the cops is here!
The pig sirens is goin' off, scramble!
I've never seen so much blood at a wedding. Awesome.
Yeah, you really beat up your brother.
But I feel bad for him.
But you just said you hated him, why would...eh.
Yeah, I mean, I hate him, but...
Ya but it's not unsposed to make sense. For you see, wes are aimless, hate-filled animals, scamperings away into the nights.
That's rights. For you see, that's what families is. Peoples whats you hates.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Oh, Pickle don't look good. Pickle looks scared!
He's fine. This is outstanding exposure.
Who the hell is this lady?
Oh, that's Pickle new P.R. lady.
She's not a groupie?
No.
Never mind then.
[drunk] AND THE WINNER IS "CINNAMON BUNS!!!" STARRING PICKLES THE DRUMMER, DIRECTED BY VODKA AND BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! [collapses]
Why don't we just start our own P.R.?
Yeahs, all its is telling somebody something. And thats what I does right now.
Yeah. And we should do it with the 3 of us right?
Yeah let's do it.
Yeah, let's do that.
Hey, how comes you don't asks me? The 3, it's the 4 of us.
You were all the way over there, you- you we weren't even- we couldn't even see you.
I just heard everythings and i want to be parts of it too.
Tokis, yous toos lates. That's what you gets for trying to play video game.
WHAT'S TOO LATE!?! I STANDS RIGHT HERE! You just excludes me on purpose, you know it!
That's bad P.R. right there.
We want our own PR person, like Pickles has.
OOffdensen
But I am a PR person.
But we want a real PR person.
OOffdensen
I am a real PR person.
No, we wants a reals PRs person!
OOffdensen
I am a real PR person--
But we wants a lady!
OOffdensen
I am--fine.
HHost
And look who's here, it's the guy who's everywhere now, Dethklok's drummer Pickles--
(waving liquor bottle) Yeeah, woo-hoo!
HHost
--along with his publicist Liz Bane.
How ya doin'?
HHost
His face is everywhere these days. People are calling you the most popular member of Dethklok. How does that make you feel?
I got two words: drunk and horny.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Metalocalypse pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.