It can take a long time to get pregnant, can't it?
Oh yeah, everything has to be right, the womb has to be in the right cycle; the, um, placebo has to be aligned with the aviary; and the seed must be freed.
[drunk] You know, I've never said this before...
[drunk] What?
"Ibble-wibble wibble".
[both laugh drunkenly]
Where did you get it.
I don't know. I can't be expected to remember anything.
Gary doesn't understand periods. He thinks they're something to do with the moon.
[Tony is trying to destroy a giant plastic fish with a finger-nail-file]
I saw Gary kissing a woman.
[Tony stops filing]
A woman other than Dorothy?
Yes.
Are you sure it wasn't Dorothy in disguise?
Yes.
Or someone disguised as Gary?
Yes.
Blimey... Wayhey!
No, Tony, not "wayhey".
No, not "wayhey", sorry.
Gary seemed really keen on this girl, and Dorothy thinks she's pregnant, it's all a big mess.
Oh, yes. Still, wayhey!
No!
No. No, not, no.
Talk to Gary, he'll listen to you.
He doesn't do anything I tell him to do, except for his Ken Dodd impression, he doesn't mind doing that.
Well, find this girl, warn her off Gary. She's one of the delegates. I think her name's Wendy. Here...
[She takes one of Gary's suits from the cupboard]
...wear this, and mingle.
Alright, but you must stay, and file my fish.
No.
Dorothy thinks she might be pregnant.
How do they know?
I don't know, I think it's something to do with... no, I don't know.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Men Behaving Badly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.