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S1 E15

Mating Season · Season 1, Episode 15

Ray, Fawn and others in “Unfinished Business”

[Watering Hole bar; A heartbroken Zeke tells Ray, Fawn, and Penelope about Carlos breaking up with him]

I'm sorry. Help me out, Zeke. Who… Who's Carlos? I barely know who you are.

Carlos is the moose who helped him figure out he's gay. Okay, so, Zeke, what exactly did he say?

[sobs] He said…

[Flashback at Zeke's house]

CCarlos

I don't want to be your boyfriend.

[weeping] But I love you!

CCarlos

No, you don't. Name one thing you love about me.

That you're… That you're gay?

[Back to the present]

Oh, God, Zeke.

But he is!

Okay, what happened next?

He said…

[Flashback resumes]

CCarlos

You're a baby gay, and I'm not looking to change diapers.

What does that even mean?

CCarlos

It means that you're fresh out of the closet. You should be going fuck crazy. Get out there! Get laid!

[weeping emotionally] But you just said I'm a baby! That's wrong!

[Back to the present again]

Zeke, you foolish moose. [slaps him in the face three times] This… Is… A… Gift!

Please stop hitting me.

I mean, Ray does have a point. You've only slept with one guy.

Exactly. You gotta get out there and put your thing in their thing. And then, if you're down, they'll put their thing in your thing. And then, I don't know, you guys all go to the gym?

So you want me to just go out there and have a bunch of random bad sex?

Yeah!

Even the bad sex is educational. It teaches you what good sex is.

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