Klinger and Hawkeye in “Where There's A Will, There's A War”

Klinger

Captain. You really are alive.

Hawkeye

Nah, that's just a vicious rumor.

Klinger

What are you working on?

Hawkeye

Just... catching up on some overdue paperwork (his will).

Klinger

Get some sleep! If there's one thing I've learned from being company clerk, there's no paperwork that can't wait until tomorrow.

Hawkeye

That's what I used to think.