Married... with Children quotes
396 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8 Season 9
Season 10
Season 11
Kelly: I'm an actress, I don't know if I can go parading around a bunch of strangers I haven't slept with yet.
Kelly: Let's call him Lucky. Lucky Bundy.
Al: I was saving that name for my tombstone.
Al: I was saving that name for my tombstone.
Kelly: Mom, Dad, Bud: you will never guess what I got.
Bud: A better game would be guess what you haven't got. I'll take Virginity for $100.
Kelly: Well, that's funny. Nobody will take yours for less than $1000.
Bud: A better game would be guess what you haven't got. I'll take Virginity for $100.
Kelly: Well, that's funny. Nobody will take yours for less than $1000.
Kelly: Oh, Daddy you're so good. I'm sure in your next life you're gonna be re-incarcerated.
Kelly: What do you think?
Bud: You no longer look like a North American slut, you look like a South American slut.
Kelly: That's exactly the look I was going for.
Bud: You no longer look like a North American slut, you look like a South American slut.
Kelly: That's exactly the look I was going for.
Kelly: You know what I'd do if my lover lost interest in me?
Bud: Sleep with his parole officer?
Bud: Sleep with his parole officer?
Marcy: Allow me to quote from your official student handbook "Abstinence Saves Lives." And what guarantees abstinence better than self-love? Constant, never-ending self-love? I ask you to look at this young man. Would you rather he do what he did or be out there breeding?
Marcy: Jefferson, can I have a word with you in our own kitchen by the recently sharpened knives?
Marcy: What's Mr. Potato Head doing here?
Al: Well, I don't know: you married him.
Marcy: Not that Mr. Potato Head, the one that's actually worth something.
Al: Well, I don't know: you married him.
Marcy: Not that Mr. Potato Head, the one that's actually worth something.
Peg: And to think I could've had any man on the football team.
Al: Peg, you had them all.
Al: Peg, you had them all.
Peg: You know, I've always wanted a place where I could stretch out and do nothing.
Al: Well, get in the car: I'll take you to the morgue.
Al: Well, get in the car: I'll take you to the morgue.
[Jefferson has just came into the Bundy house with sweats on, covering a toilet seat stuck to butt.]
Jefferson: Mark my words, Al. As soon as I can sit down and think of something, you will pay.
[Al, Bud and Kelly laughs at Jefferson as he tries to exit the Bundy Home.]
Season 11
Jefferson: Mark my words, Al. As soon as I can sit down and think of something, you will pay.
[Al, Bud and Kelly laughs at Jefferson as he tries to exit the Bundy Home.]
Season 11