BThe Boys
Diaper! Diaper! Diaper! Diaper! Diaper! (they throw it and watch with excited faces, then they later change to a disgusted one)
Well, let's not do any of those again.
S2 E2"Halloween Approximately"
Imagine if this was to fall into the wrong hands.
I see an old lady!!
RELOAD! RELOAD!
Boys, the time has come. You're about to see the device that will change the face of Halloween forever. Behold... [empties his bag of supplies]
That's not a flying chocolate maker.
This is just a bunch of tubes.
Trust me.
I do trust you, but...I expected something a little more...
[reading the design plans] Oh my God. Will this work?
Absolutely.
What? What is it?
It looks like an incredibly powerful slingshot!
A slingshot capable of hurling objects over a distance of two-city-blocks. Picture yourself. You're walking down the street, you're minding your own business, when all of a sudden, BAM! You're hit by a ten-pound balloon filled with shaving cream, paint, or any number of foul-smelling liquids. [Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey get excited] And you'll never, ever know who did it.
It's the perfect weapon!
S2 E3"Lois' Birthday"
We've established that, we're just going in circles here!
This isn't fair. Mom should have never taken us to a store that sells candy. She set us up!
Boy [to Lois]: Hey, lady, are you going to hog that cage all day?
(inside a batting cage) I got news for you, kid. I'm a grown-up with a credit card and no curfew. I could stay here all week if I want.
I'm lost. (Francis punches Reese) OW!
That's how Mom feels... on the inside.
(After Francis keeps talking to another girl)
AAmaani
You're wasting your time. She doesn't speak English.
Oh.
AAmaani
Which is just as well, because if she understood the crap you were feeding her, she'd laugh in your face.
I have my own problems. I have to go to a kegger, party with my friends, and make out with an African goddess with this hanging over my head. Come on, Amanni.
S2 E4"Dinner Out"
Hey I promised you girls! Not quality girls.
Sorry we're late, some jackass parked in the handicapped spot.
Hal (nervous and embarrassed): Uhh... excuse me, I think I left something in the car.
It was Kitty Kenarban, she invited a dinner.
Good for you.
I am talking about everyone. It will be nice to dinner out with decent people. I wonder why people never invite us to dinner
I think I see a couple of hungry seals!
(The boys act like seals while Hal throws the spaghetti in their mouths)
(knocking on Spangler's door) Sir?
Go away! I told you I did not want to be disturbed. My aunt and I are... catching up.
I... I thought you said it was your mother, sir.
(Long pause)
Go away!
Hal [to Lois]: Okay, here's the plan if we want to ditch out of this thing. At the beginning, I'll say that I think I might be coming down with something...
Hal, I don't want to ditch out of this. I'm looking forward to it. The Kenarbans are nice people, and they want to be friends with us.
So, you're saying I'm on my own here?
Lois [to the boys]: Now, remember, no throwing ice, no flicking butter at the ceiling, no sticking gum under the table, and no eating gum already stuck under the table!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.