Mike quotes from Madam Secretary

Elizabeth

You guys, is this the best party ever, or what?

Mike

If you don't count, I don't know, three or four inaugural balls.

Elizabeth

You look tired.

Mike

I'm out. Killer joke by the way.

Elizabeth

I'm not your puppet. If I see a chance to change the paradigm, I'm going to take it.

Mike

Why can't you trust me?

Elizabeth

Because I'm not a politician.

Mike

And that's why you're going to lose.

Jay

That brings me to our next topic, defining everyone's role in the campaign. Most of us will have the same title we now have at State.

Mike

With a much higher level of intensity. This isn't going to be some cushy conference in Geneva people. This is the longest marathon of your lives, running uphill the whole way with this woman's campaign agenda carved into your foreheads. You got me?

Kat

Are we joining a cult?

Matt

It sounds like a cult.

Jay

It's a team, and we're all in it together, so for now rest up, get your annual checkups and dentist appointments out of the way and try and enjoy the calm before the storm.

Mike

The fight of our lives.

Russell

I didn't realize I was crashing a party.

Mike

You're always on the guest list.

Russell

An article's coming out on the next few days in the Washington Chronicle alleging an intimate relationship between Elizabeth and Conrad during their days at CIA.

Elizabeth

Well, that is straight up defamation.

Mike

No, this is good. That means they have nothing in their oppo file if they're making stuff up this early unless they're not making it up... which We'll talk later.

Elizabeth

They're making it up, Mike.

Mike

I waited in a stupidly long line for what's supposed to be the next Cronut.

Nina

(rushing in behind Mike B) Uh, Mike Barnow, ma'am.

Mike

Thanks, Blake. (waves Nina off and hands Elizabeth the pastry) This is to keep you off-line for the two days, possibly the week.

Elizabeth

The article came out.

Mike

Drops within the hour. Stay inside, don't look at any memes or tweets, and for God's sake, don't read it.

Elizabeth

Why would I do that?

Mike

What is there to think about?

Jay

For Starters, the fact that she's aligned with a president who won as an Independent.

Mike

For the first time in history. The chance of that happening a second time are about the same as my son's chances of getting into Harvard.

Elizabeth

Well, the governor makes one good point: if I join the GOP ticket now, we have a better chance of knocking Callister out early.

Jay

What if the governor represents a small faction of the party and you don't win broad support? And then we're dead in New Hampshire.

Mike

Have you forgotten who you're working for? Um, Elizabeth schooled America about nationalism, and her-- And her popularity went up five points. This country is totally ready to be spanked by Hot Mom.

Jay

What do you think?

Elizabeth

I think that I do line up with some GOP policy positions. I think privatization is sometimes more efficient than government bureaucracy, and I'm all for a strong military. And I think... we do all win when the government steps back and allows responsible businesses to thrive. But I don't think that that means that corporations should pay a lower tax rate than school teachers

Mike

Of course not. You can-- There's always a way to frame it.

Elizabeth

What happens when I make wealth disparity my key issue? Or declare that the days of undermining democracy by gerrymandering are over?

Mike

You will trade horses like every other politician.

Jay

She's not every other politician.

Mike

One bonus: I make this call tomorrow, I am pretty sure this whole affair story goes away a lot faster.

Elizabeth

Okay, that... is exactly the kind of political gamesmanship that I hate. I know that both parties do it. But the GOP has a much darker history of playing up wedge issues like same-sex marriage just to fire up voters. When I went to Camp David to think about the candidate I want to be, none of that was on the list.

Jay

Seems like you know your way forward on this, ma'am.

Mike

Let's not make any decisions tonight. (grabs a beer) Let me-- Let me just-- Let me just say this: no one gets to shape this country by being the noble candidate who lost.

Mike

If that's a masseuse, can you see if she'll do campaign stops?

Jay

What makes you think I'm booking a masseuse?

Mike

You said her name was Kayla.

Elizabeth

Guys enough. Enough. This whole routine between the two of you, undercutting, the jockeying for position, this has got to stop. This is exactly what George Washington hated about a two-party system. Two sides trying to dominate each other.

Mike

What does he know? He had wooden teeth.

Elizabeth

He was right. And so is Jay, by the way. My political identity is tied to Conrad's. I'm an independent. It's who I am, and it's how I'm going to run. I'm gonna call Governor Hayes, and tell him we're declining his offer. Either of you have a problem with that? (Both Mike and Jay shake their heads no) Good. I've also accepted an interview tomorrow morning where I'm going to put these affair rumors to rest, among other things.

Mike

Love it. Can we go over some talking points?

Elizabeth

I don't need talking points. I was there. Guys, this is gonna be a long, hard road. but it's the road I want to be on. So you either get on it with me or get out of my way. Okay?

Mike

If it gets out that a foreign government helped topple your opponent, the legitimacy of your presidency could be in jeopardy.

Elizabeth

This is a lot bigger than me. Our democracy was interfered with.

Elizabeth

I have your short list on my desk.

Mike

I have it right here. I picked it up off the pile and dusted it off. You have to find a replacement, because the President of the United States wouldn't go back on her word.

I got a message for your boss.

Mike

I suggest you take it up with the US attorney.

And give that court legitimacy? Not a chance. I thought I'd skip the line and go straight to the source. Tell her that there is no way in hell that I'm revealing my source under any circumstances.

Mike

They'll hold you in contempt.

Then I'll write from jail. I've already cleared it with my editor.

Elizabeth

That is a partisan move for a department that is supposed to be apolitical.

Mike

On the down low, please, Olivia. Otherwise the President looks like the captain of the Good Ship Paranoia.