Jason McCord quotes from Madam Secretary

Henry

(answers phone) Hello? ... It's the Russian Foreign Minister's office.

Stevie

How'd they get our home number?

Jason

Russia.

Jason

How about Markes? It's pretty crazy, huh?

Elizabeth

What are you talking about?

Jason

It's all over the news. Markes is resigning.

Elizabeth

Senator Markes?

Jason

Yeah.

Elizabeth

Is resigning?

Jason

Yeah.

Elizabeth

Senator Gregg Markes is resigning?

Jason

Why does she keep asking me that?

Henry

Processing the ramifications.

Jason

Which are?

I-I... I h-have to go. Here, go.

Henry

Yeah.

Elizabeth

I have to go.

Henry

Your mom's about to change the world.

Hey dad.

Henry

Hey.

You look terrible.

Henry

Thanks honey.

Crazy for you to be starting a new job. I mean you just got out of the hospital.

Henry

It's not a new job; it's more like an aspect of what I'm doing at the War College, only less teaching.

So what is it, exactly?

Henry

(hesitates) Consulting.

Jason

Everybody knows what that's code for, Dad. It's intelligence work.

Henry

Jace, I'm employed by the Defense Department. You're not blowing the lid off of anything with that observation.

It just seems so soon.

Henry

I'm fine, Noodle, really. Look, eating eggs, drinking juice.

Jason

Reading some counterterrorism-- breakfast of champions.

Stevie

Maybe I'm just being entitled and stupid.

Jason

You and the rest of America.

Uh, Mom, is it Caribbean Day at work?

Jason

It's 38 degrees outside

Elizabeth

Yes, well, it's 84 degrees in Singapore, so...

Henry

Oh, right. The Singapore Interchange... What... You're leaving today?

Elizabeth

Yeah, I told you that.

Henry

No. You said it was a maybe.

Elizabeth

Oh... Well, now it's a strong tentative yes. I mean, I-I just... I don't want to jinx it. You know, we really are this close (she pinches her fingers together) to having a meaningful territorial accord with all the countries of the Asia Pacific, including China. Boom!

Jason

Wow, so what? You've uh, you've figured out who's getting all the oil and natural gas in the South China Sea?

Elizabeth

No, not... that. But we have settled the fate of the disputed islands, yes, and... fishing... and...

Jason

That's good, too.

He's only interested because the Philippines are involved, and he's obsessed with their new president, that Andrada guy.

Jason

Oh, like you aren't.

Of course I am. He's a total genuine psycho.

Elizabeth

Okay, Can we just go with 'rough around the edges' for the sake of diplomacy?

Jason

I'm sorry. Have you seen the videos he made during his campaign where he dressed up like his opponents and mocked them?

And challenged them to kickboxing matches in kickboxing gear.

Elizabeth

I concede that President Andrada ran an unconventional campaign.

Henry

[upon opening a toy engine kit his father left for him] Hey, Jace, you wanna help me see if we can finally get this thing to work?

Jason

Uh, and foster a legacy of inter generational cruelty? I think I'll pass.

Henry

Okay, I've got to say something. Two things, actually. One, we're never going to be able to compete with Kuwaiti royalty.

Jason

I know.

Henry

And two, which is way more important, Piper's gonna like who she likes, and it may not make sense, and it might seem like she's betraying who she really is, but you're not gonna change her mind by trying to compete.

Wait, you actually want to break up with Piper? Wow, you're an even bigger idiot than I thought you were.

Jason

You're an idiot.

Henry

All right, let's play "Who's an idiot?" later.

Jason

How do I make the pain go away?

Stevie

You kinda don't. You just gotta wallow in it for as long as it takes.

Jason

Well, this sucks.

Stevie

Man. This is hard. I haven't written a poem since, like, seventh grade. Actually, that was more of a rap.

Ooh, a rap could be fun.

Stevie

Yeah. Mm... but no. No.

Jason

Hey, guys. I think I got something. "The way we love our perfect parents can never be co-opted, though Stevie was an accident and Allie is adopted."

Well, why did we even get a band? They're so cheesy. We should just get a deejay.

Stevie

Well, no, because Mom and Dad are cheesy, and they wanted a band. And this is their party, and we're supposed to be helping. I mean, how am I supposed to book a decent band in the middle of the holidays, at the last minute?

Jason

You were going for "decent"?

Stevie

No, Jason. I was going for "good." But no I'm at "decent," and tomorrow I might be at "washboard and mouth harp," for all I know.

Brother and sisters, we are gathered here today to celebrate a renewal of love and commitment that was first realized 30 years ago today. I understand Henry and Elizabeth have prepared their own vows for the renewal of their marriage.

Elizabeth

Crap. You go first.

Henry

All right. Um, these aren't really traditional vows. It's a letter I found in the basement when I was cleaning it out after the flood. I wrote it the night before we were married. "Dear Elabet..." That's an inside joke, so just... "Tomorrow is the day that we begin our magical mystery tour, and I've never been more eager to embark." I was 26. Give me a break. "I know it's not the easiest way to start a marriage, watching me head off to war, but you have nothing to worry about, because there's not a force on earth that could keep me from coming back to you and to all the things that are waiting for us, like more of those midnight mac-and-cheese dinners, watching you go crazy shopping for pillows." You still do that. "And hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains when the air gets crisp, and the leaves are turning-- ahem-- and we can see forever. And the way that you..." Whoa, okay. I'm gonna have to skip this part 'cause the kids are here. "These are the moments I will hold in my mind while I'm away. And the images of the adventures we haven't even started. The faces of the children we'll have. Two for sure. Three if we're lucky. I know you lost too much family too soon, and I'm so happy to be the one to help you rebuild that. On that note, no more Peter Frampton concerts while I'm away. I can't wait for tomorrow and all our tomorrows. As the poet said, Elabet. Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be. Yours forever. Hank."

Elizabeth

The best is yet to be. I remember that. I love that. Your dad's the best romantic. And I was just... smitten. And smart enough to fall for the ridiculously handsome fighter pilot who could quote saints and write letters like that. Thank you for... for blinding me with your love and words for the last quarter of a century, Henry. And thank you for getting me. For always knowing what to say. And for telling the best jokes. And for... going to see what that noise was. And for never hesitating to go on a wild ride with me. Going forward, I promise to always leave just enough ice cream in the carton, expecially the mocha fudge. To not yell at the news in the morning or stay up too late watching cooking shows, unless you wanna watch them with me. And to always give you first shot at the appliances before I call Earl. And to not ask you think about what I'm wearing unless I really want to know. And... I will love you with everything I've got. To the walk-in bathtub and beyond. Wherever all your saints think it is we'll end up. Because I'll go with you always and anywhere, Henry McCord.

I understand the McCord children have something to add.

Jason

Yeah, uh... Thanks... for having us.

Stevie

I'm sorry Father Dinardo. There's a message from the White House.

Happens all the time.

Stevie

It's from Russell. "We got the votes. With Morejon's bill passed, Governor Douche... ahem. Governor Barker, um, admitted defeat and announced that he's ending the separation policy. Children will be reunited with their parents as soon as the order comes through. And Mom will be released with all charges dropped."

Henry

Ooh, and, uh... guess what time it is.

Elizabeth

It's perfect.

You may kiss the bride... since you are.

Henry

Mom's really tired. Let's do this some other time.

Jason

Oh, sure. Yeah, that won't leave us lying awake in bed all night wondering if she has cancer.

Elizabeth

Okay. Um... there's this article coming out in the next few days, and it's going to imply that when I was at the CIA--

Henry

(cutting Elizabeth off) It's a hit piece accusing Mom and President Dalton of having an affair 20 years ago.

It is not true.

Stevie

What? Who's behind it?

Elizabeth

We don't know.

How can they just say that with no proof?

Jason

Isn't that slander?

Henry

Libel if they publish it.

Elizabeth

Look, we just want you guys to know that it's going to be out there for a few days.

Jason

That's disgusting.

Elizabeth

And, we're not responding, so it just goes away with the next crisis, and I am so sorry.

Stevie

You do not need to apologize to us.

Jason

Wait, wait. So you're just gonna let them say that?

Elizabeth

I'm gonna get attacked a lot.

Jason

(scoffs)

Elizabeth

Just means they're nervous about me.