Mike quotes from Madam Secretary

Mike

Exhausted is Washington code for complete mental freakout, you 12 year-olds.

Mike

Michael Barnow for Secretary McCord... God, help me.

Mike

I think I can be confident that I will not be convicted of the murder of a state Senator.

Elizabeth

You're giving me the 'you're an idiot' look.

Because you're an idiot.

What do you think it means that Russell Jackson is coming to your office?

Elizabeth

I think it means it's a weekday during business hours... He said it was about the Senate investigation.[Looking up at Mike pacing, she asks about his dog] Where's Gordon?

He's- with my ex-wife. We share custody. It's actually a painful subject.

Elizabeth

I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt pain.

Fine, I like you, Nadine. I like you, and I would like to go out with you.

Nadine

You sound like a teenager.

Americans have an underdeveloped language for romance. Yes or no?

Elizabeth

[about Morejon] You do know we hate each other?

Yeah. It's classic D.C. jiu jitsu. He has to come, you look gracious, he feels awful, and you win. Trust me, it's perfect.

Elizabeth

And you're okay with this?

Stevie

Yeah. Absolutely.

My God, it's like a hostage video.

Going to see that family was reckless and stupid.

Elizabeth

You know, you asked me how I did it. I wasn't trying to do anything, just what I thought was right.

I already said, stupid.

Elizabeth

You found hard evidence?

Sometimes it's like you don't even realize you're insulting me.

Mike

Look at this. A sign from the gods--

Elizabeth

Hey--

Mike

I am trolling for favors, and here you are. I also need to hit up Russell Jackson as well.

Elizabeth

This might not be the best time.

Mike

Yeah, I heard. Bit of an ouch-y in court. (Elizabeth gives him a stern look) How else would you describe it?

Elizabeth

Oh, I don't know, Mike, maybe sensitively. What favors are you here for?

Mike

I need recommendation letters for my kid's super-elitist, beyond-his-intellectual-capacity private school.

Elizabeth

Mike, do you really want to send your son to a school that he is not suited for?

Mike

One hundred percent. So can I count on you?

Elizabeth

Well, it's a hell of a day to be asking for a favor for your privileged kid. (Mike gives her a begging look) All right, send me his application and his essay (Mike produces the paperwork immediately) No promises.

Mike

I also got the invite to your vow thing. Nice optics. I can't believe I didn't think of it myself. I reached out to the videographer.

Elizabeth

No publicity.

Mike

No publicity. Just a videographer. Very discreet drones. You won't even hear them.

Elizabeth

Mike! This is a personal and private event. No politics. No angles.

Mike

Hey, look, I have been dissecting the polls, and while you have broad support-- no pun intended-- You lack voter intensity. People like you, but they don't love you. Do you know what could change that? The sight of you in a wedding dress. America would go macadamia. As in nuts.

Elizabeth

No, no. I put it together. The answer is still no. (starts to walk away)

Mike

Okay, let's just get the footage, and then we'll sort it out in post.

Mike

You know, when I told you to focus on voter intensity, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Elizabeth

Can we just whistle past the reprimand, please?

Mike

Fine. I have arranged for you a plea deal. You plead guilty to misdemeanor trespass, you'll be released immediately with a small fine. (Elizabeth stares at him silent and obviously bothered) Oh, God, this isn't mute with gratitude is it?

Elizabeth

I can't plead guilty.

Mike

You so can!

Mike

Everybody scrunch together for the Godfather shot.

Elizabeth

Mike! I said...

Mike

You said no publicity. But this is a wedding photo. Don't you want to capture the moment?

Henry

Babe, he's got a point.

Elizabeth

Okay. This is for personal use only.

Mike

Absolutely. We can decide later. Okay, make it work. Make it like it's art. t

Stevie

(about the vow renewal) Oh my God, this is so sweet. Isn't it?

Mike

All I see is a book cover.