Jay quotes from Madam Secretary

Matt

So the whole arms smuggling thing -- was that Vesuvian or just Brennan?

Jay

He was the only one on the take. Apparently he was massively in debt, thanks to our skill in solving conflict with diplomacy instead of shooting wars.

Matt

Go us.

Henry

I did underscore the seriousness of the situation, right?

Elizabeth

He's concerned we're not all sufficiently terrified.

Jay

Nope. Message received. I'm deeply, deeply scared.

Russell

[watching Henry and Elizabeth bicker] Bet you don't miss that part of being married, huh?

Jay

Sorry, what?

Russell

Hmm, yeah, that was insensitive.

Nadine

On the other hand, if we don't engage --

Jay

We've potentially let a respected journalist, not to mention an American citizen, die in a foreign prison for a crime he didn't commit.

Matt

Which is a bad look for us.

Russell

As far as I'm concerned, you can get on board or get out of the way.

Jay

With respect, Mr. Jackson, that isn't your call.

Russell

(To Elizabeth) Is he gonna be talking to me that way?

Elizabeth

Get on board.

Russell

This man is supposed to be giving a speech on a bridge over the Ohio River tomorrow afternoon. You want him to go to a country whose biggest exports are wool and yak cheese?

Jay

Gold and cotton, actually.

Russell

I don't care! And neither do the actual voters who are sick of crashing into potholes.

Elizabeth

What's this?

Matt

Just a little something to celebrate the successful launch of the Permafrost Protection Project. I thought popsicles were appropriate than champagne.

Jay

Could've gotten champagne popsicles.

Matt

Does that exist?

Jay

If it doesn't, it should.

Daisy

Wow, lot of changes since I was gone. Congratulations, Boss.

Jay

Don't be ridiculous. Blake is still the boss.

Blake

Ooh, this is the thing where he talks to "ordinary" Russians. I love this.

Jay

Taking canned questions and creating your own personality cult. It has a certain perverse charm.

Matt

I love how weird it is. It's like The View meets Joseph Stalin.

Blake

Like a psychic?

Jay

His name is Ranuga, and he prefers "metaphysical adviser."

Blake

I'm sure he does.

Jay

Let's just remember to be respectful, no matter what we personally believe.

Kat

Okay, human traffickers?

Jay

You're kidding.

Kat

Yeah, of course I'm kidding. They're the most evil monsters belched from Hell the earth has ever known. Although...

Jay

Stop. We may not have any legal options, but we're not going straight up immoral.

Kat

Oh, I like that. 'Different.' Yeah, I...yeah. Yeah, I had long hair, and, uh, wore dresses and heels and makeup, and, um, sometimes it felt like me. And sometimes...it felt like a costume I had to wear to survive, and gain access.

Jay

So what made you...this you?

Kat

I survived and gained access.

Jay

I'm sorry, you're one of the best chess players in the world. It's ridiculous for you to even mess around with someone like me.

I like messing around with you.

Blake

Get your attention?

Daisy

Not enough. We're 5 million short. Donor fatigue is real.

Jay

Six years of war.

Daisy

If we fail here, we send the message that Syria doesn't matter.

Elizabeth

We can't fail. Search under the White House cushions for change.

Jay

I wasn't giving you the look.

Elizabeth

There's a but there. I can feel it.

Jay

This is why I can't play poker.