Matt Mahoney quotes from Madam Secretary

Daisy

So I should tell the Secretary, right?

Matt

And be the woman who told her boss about the other woman? That makes you the other, other woman. The worst woman of all.

Elizabeth

So why tell me now?

Matt

Because now Jackson wants me to spy on you.

Elizabeth

Really?

Matt

Yeah, in exchange for a job at The White House. I tried to tell him no, but he made me promise to think about it.

Elizabeth

Tell him you'll do it.

Matt

I never agreed to spy on Secretary McCord. I won't do it.

Russell

Then think of it as keeping tabs. Come on, Matt. This is how it works. You give me something. I give you something. Don't you want an office in the West Wing?

Jay

He's used to getting his way.

Elizabeth

Well, that may be, but I happen to know he is extremely ticklish.

Matt

Wait. Did the Secretary just admit to intimate anatomical knowledge of the Prince of Bahrain?

Blake

The CIA briefs must be very detailed.

Nadine

Daisy, whatever good was in that man, he was most definitely not a good husband.

Matt

But he always had such good things to say about Mrs. Marsh.

Nadine

Not when he was in bed with me.

Blake

[about his fruitless search for a home for a portrait of Vincent Marsh] I've tried everything.

Daisy

National Portrait Gallery?

Matt

Library of Congress? How about the state house in Illinois? He served there once in the...

Blake

The general assembly. I've tried everything is not a sentence I use lightly. Lest you attempt to keep saying names of museums.

Russell

Are you mocking me, son?

Matt

No, no, I would never mock.

Matt

[strums a note on a balalaika, a traditional Russian stringed instrument, that he sees on Nadine's coffee table]

Nadine

That's lovely isn't it? That was a present from Boris Yeltsin.

Matt

Do you play?

Nadine

I dabble.

Matt

[laughs]

Nadine

I had to learn for an experimental piece my dance troupe did in Minsk.

Matt

[impressed and surprised, raises his eyebrows] Here's to unexpected skills.

Nadine

[turns away from Matt to get something for him from another room in her home]

Matt

[with facial expressions that register surprise at the high quality and luxury of Nadine's furnishings, artwork, and mementos] You know, I always figured that you lived more like a...

Nadine

[turns back around toward Matt and raises one eyebrow, as if to stop him from saying something inadvertently insulting]

Matt

...I just mean more like me. Half of my furniture is from Ikea. And that's the good half.

Elizabeth

Matt.

Matt

Hmm?

Elizabeth

Help the Pentagon craft a carefully-worded statement to that effect which actually reveals nothing.

Matt

That's the only kind they write.

Elizabeth

Three cheers for the bland Soviet-style pronouncements, because I want the media to walk past this. Got it?

Elizabeth

Uh oh. Anxious Daisy face.

Daisy

So, I swatted back most reporters, but one called his senator for comment. That senator would be Carlos Morejon from Arizona.

Matt

It's not a good thing.

Nadine

He ran on a strict anti-immigration platform. His slogan was--

Elizabeth

Yes, yes, I remember. "Keep Arizona secure for the Arizonans." Really just rolls right off your tongue.

Nadine

And the White House has made it clear that this is a priority.

Elizabeth

Ah. Well. Now I understand why I'm here. Okay. Um, Matt... Draft a statement to Foreign Minister Torres reminding him of his country's responsibility to protect our workers. Emphasize the impact on Chile's economy should they jeopardize their trade agreement with us.

Matt

So threaten to break up with them if they cheat on us.

Elizabeth

Or at least stop hitting us with rocks.

Nadine

Ma'am, there's one other thing. Uh, one of the students from the confrontation yesterday has filed a lawsuit against the State Department.

Blake

I'm sorry. Come again?

Nadine

He feels the DS agent violated his personal space.

Elizabeth

It's the confetti-bomb guy. They were a little rough taking him down.

Nadine

Uh, no, no, it was another one. The, uh, vocal one.

Blake

The guy who was just standing there yelling at us?

Elizabeth

The screamer feels we violated his personal space?

Matt

The government made me yell and now my throat hurts?

Daisy

Guys! Do you know how fast something like this could turn an election? I mean, it's just ridiculous enough to get way more coverage than it deserves.

Elizabeth

What's the kid's name?

Nadine

He's choosing not to reveal that in the suit.

Blake

Brian Andrew Lindstrom. He lives in Foster Hall.

Nadine

We'll take care of it.

Elizabeth

No, no, no. This one I want. Don't worry, I'm not going to violate his personal space as much as I would love to.

Matt

Come on, don't hold back. How'd you get college baby to drop the lawsuit?

Daisy

Was it a total smackdown?

Elizabeth

Let's just say his parents helped him see reason.

Blake

She's being modest. It was a smackdown.

Daisy

How could he possibly survive an avalanche?

Matt

It's all about the crucial first minutes. before the snow settles. You get an arm up in front of your face, create an air pocket so that you can breathe. Then you spit to see which way is up. Swim like mad to get to the surface, hopefully before you suffocate... What? Boy scouts.