Henry McCord quotes from Madam Secretary

Elizabeth

Oh. I don't understand. We gave him the drinking talk.

Henry

Apparently it didn't take.

Elizabeth

Nadine's making a face. Maybe...we needed more than one talk. [pause] Now Blake is pointedly avoiding eye contact.

Henry

Well...he's already grounded for a month. We can wait till you get home to give him the big talking to.

Elizabeth

Okay. [pause] I'm afraid to say anything else, lest the mime troupe weighs in again.

Elizabeth

Fine. You want to talk to the FBI, you can talk to the FBI. On one condition.

Henry

Name it.

Elizabeth

You have to put the shams on the big pillows.

Henry

You know what my dad said to me, the night before I got married? "Marriage is the nicest way to confront your own inadequacies on a daily basis."

Stevie

You should write that in a song.

Henry

Are you kidding me? Who wrote these talking points? The Browns have got way bigger problems than finding a go-to receiver on third down.

Elizabeth

Can I just say how adorable it is that this is the most opinionated you've been about my job?

Henry

She's used her YouTube tutorial as a metaphor for the democratization of media, third-wave feminism, and the internet as a virtual university.

Elizabeth

What? All of that in 500 words or less?

Henry

I never knew smokey eyes could be so poignant. [chokes up] It's really good. And now I'm getting misty eyed.

Elizabeth

You're very cute when you're overwhelmed by intelligence.

Henry

Jason's upstairs, claiming to be doing his homework. [sighs] He's probably gambling online.

Elizabeth

As long as he wins.

Elizabeth

Thing is...I just don't want a nineteen year old zoning our neighborhood.

Henry

We could end up with a bunch of juice bars and artisanal vape shops.

Elizabeth

If Jason genuinely believes that Reynolds would make a better president, I don't have a problem with him wearing it.

Henry

No matter how obnoxious and disrespectful it may be.

Henry

How's the world doing today?

Elizabeth

Well, the fate of the Middle East rests on China's appetite for chicken.

Henry

Oh, hey, here's something weird. I got a call from the CIA. They want me to come in for an Ex Post Facto Re-Debrief regarding Black Dog Station.

Elizabeth

Well, I was in the CIA for 20 years, and I've never heard of an Ex Post Facto Re-Debrief.

Henry

When they shut the operation down, they called it a "hotwash," now they want to get me debriefed. Why does all their terminology sound like that happens in a nursing home?

Henry

Thanks for looking at us instead of your phones.

Thanks for being interesting.

Elizabeth

Do you have any idea what they are talking about?

Henry

Not a clue.

Uh, Mom, is it Caribbean Day at work?

Jason

It's 38 degrees outside

Elizabeth

Yes, well, it's 84 degrees in Singapore, so...

Henry

Oh, right. The Singapore Interchange... What... You're leaving today?

Elizabeth

Yeah, I told you that.

Henry

No. You said it was a maybe.

Elizabeth

Oh... Well, now it's a strong tentative yes. I mean, I-I just... I don't want to jinx it. You know, we really are this close (she pinches her fingers together) to having a meaningful territorial accord with all the countries of the Asia Pacific, including China. Boom!

Jason

Wow, so what? You've uh, you've figured out who's getting all the oil and natural gas in the South China Sea?

Elizabeth

No, not... that. But we have settled the fate of the disputed islands, yes, and... fishing... and...

Jason

That's good, too.

He's only interested because the Philippines are involved, and he's obsessed with their new president, that Andrada guy.

Jason

Oh, like you aren't.

Of course I am. He's a total genuine psycho.

Elizabeth

Okay, Can we just go with 'rough around the edges' for the sake of diplomacy?

Jason

I'm sorry. Have you seen the videos he made during his campaign where he dressed up like his opponents and mocked them?

And challenged them to kickboxing matches in kickboxing gear.

Elizabeth

I concede that President Andrada ran an unconventional campaign.

You sure you're okay?

Elizabeth

Yeah, should've seen the other guy.

Elizabeth

I did. Andrada's been posting all these photos of himself with his nose splint and black eyes.

Elizabeth

Really? Thought he's be embarrassed and lay low.

Henry

Oh, no. He's very proud of the fact that he got his nose broken at the gym by his sparring partner. A guy named Cobra.

Elizabeth

You're gonna start calling me Cobra no, aren't you?

Henry

As soon as it's funny.

Elizabeth

Well, that cover story works for me. He doesn't want to admit he got beat up by a girl. I'm not excited for a headline that says I clobbered a world leader instead of saving a major regional agreement.

Henry

Is there any point in even asking what the guy was thinking?

Elizabeth

When he tried to grope me or when he ordered the US military out of the Philippines?

Henry

He is a psycho.