Elizabeth McCord quotes from Madam Secretary

Elizabeth

What's the latest?

Blake

So, Markes was...

Nadine

Was pulled over for driving the wrong way down a one-way street and then failed a field sobriety test.

Blake

And the woman who he was with...

Who was not his wife.

Blake

...had half...

A half ounce of cocaine on her.

Blake

And Markes...

Nadine

Then tried to bribe the arresting officer by telling him that he could give him a big promotion if he made the charges go away.

Daisy

And all of that would've been bad enough except...

Blake

Okay, let me tell it.

Elizabeth

The whole thing was caught on video by someone who recognized him. Sorry, Blake, I heard that part on the drive over.

Blake

No problem, ma'am. Being interrupted by you is a pleasure. But, uh, if I may, what does this have to do with the State Department?

Elizabeth

Okay, what do we know about Markes?

Daisy

He was a cheater.

Blake

And a liar.

Elizabeth

Head out of the tabloids, think policy.

Nadine

He was head of the Foreign Relations Committee.

Wait, so he was the man responsible for controlling what came up for a vote.

Nadine

And he stymied us on Cuba last spring.

Daisy

And now that he's out of the way, you're going to try...

Elizabeth

Wait. Let Blake say it.

Blake

You're going to try to bring a bill to the floor of the senate and lift the embargo on Cuba.

Elizabeth

And how cool would it be to announce that when we reopen the embassy?

Blake

That's in 48 hours.

Elizabeth

(Laughs) Well, we better get to work.

Elizabeth

You're so much nicer than I am.

Henry

I am.

Blake

Spider moneys will be extinct!

Elizabeth

Somebody take that away from Blake.

Elizabeth

No females can resist his charm.

Henry

I heard that.

Elizabeth

Eat this.

Henry

I'm not hungry.

Elizabeth

Fascinating. Eat this.

Stevie

And drink this.

Henry

You two are terrifying when you're in agreement.

Elizabeth

You don't have to know all that stuff by heart, you know.

Henry

I want to be prepared.

Elizabeth

Classified briefs? The CIA doesn't even read those.

Stevie

If you look too smart on the first day of school, the other kids won't like you.

Henry

How are you guys doing?

Elizabeth

You know you guys can talk to us about anything. You went through a lot.

Henry

That goes for adult children, too.

Stevie

I know. I'm fine. Pre-law is a very overwhelming distraction.

Elizabeth

What about that guy you were seeing, the one with the cute butt?

Stevie

Mom!

Elizabeth

Well, uh, you said it. Garrett, was it?

Stevie

Jareth.

Henry

David Bowie's character in the Labyrinth? You're dating the Goblin King?

Stevie

God, you guys, he's never heard that one before.

Elizabeth

So how is he?

Stevie

He's fine... We've been busy. I... This conversation is far more stressful than the dirty bomb, okay? That's gallows humor; it's a coping method.

Elizabeth

We want to meet him.

Henry

I won't say the David Bowie thing.

Russell

So for a few days of quiet, we buy ourselves a political problem that'll dog us all the way through the election? No thanks.

Elizabeth

What happened to protecting our way of life, Russell?

Russell

What happened to your argument about losing strategic advantage? I mean, how do you propose to just keep the transfer of 243 people from an Italian naval vessel to an American one out of the news?

Elizabeth

Oh, Russell, don't you know me by now?

Daisy

Joint naval exercises?

Elizabeth

Well, you're not really selling it, but yeah. If the media asks why an American cruiser is docked to an Italian warship, we say...

Daisy

Joint naval exercises.

Elizabeth

Better.

Elizabeth

Matt.

Matt

Hmm?

Elizabeth

Help the Pentagon craft a carefully-worded statement to that effect which actually reveals nothing.

Matt

That's the only kind they write.

Elizabeth

Three cheers for the bland Soviet-style pronouncements, because I want the media to walk past this. Got it?

Henry

The CIA's improvising a safe house in a country overrun by terrorists. Mimi's on a plane as we speak. It spooks me how quickly we're moving.

Elizabeth

Hey, the government could take months to send a tax refund; when it comes to spy stuff, we move fast.

Stevie

Okay. So, just to put your mind at ease about my social life, guess who's coming to dinner tomorrow?

Elizabeth

Jared?

Henry

Jareth! Like the David Bowie movie.

Stevie

You guys, you have to get all this stuff out of your system now. You can't embarrass me with him.

Henry

Oh, I think we can.

Elizabeth

Like falling off a log.

Stevie

Seriously. I like him. Plus, he's British, so he might not even get your sense of humor.

Henry

I heard we're huge in the U.K.

Elizabeth

(Fake British Accent) We will be proper citizens. Should I cook? Of course not. What should we order?

Stevie

I'll cook. You just show up and be cool.

Elizabeth

We can do that. I swear.

Elizabeth

God, it'll be nice to do something normal.

Henry

I wonder how old he is.

Elizabeth

We like him.

Henry

Got it.

Elizabeth

Uh oh. Anxious Daisy face.

Daisy

So, I swatted back most reporters, but one called his senator for comment. That senator would be Carlos Morejon from Arizona.

Matt

It's not a good thing.

Nadine

He ran on a strict anti-immigration platform. His slogan was--

Elizabeth

Yes, yes, I remember. "Keep Arizona secure for the Arizonans." Really just rolls right off your tongue.

Elizabeth

Morejon-- that's a Cuban name, right? When did your parents arrive in the U.S.?

I'm guessing that you know the answer to that.

Elizabeth

Of course I do; I'm the Secretary of State. They were Marielitos, part of the boatlift of 1980.

They were fleeing a repressive regime.

Elizabeth

Which is why the good folks in these parts gave them visas--

That you and your president have cravenly cozied up to--

Elizabeth

--instead of smearing them a potential Communist sleeper agents sent to destroy our way of life. But, hell, your boat made it here; what do you care, right?