Mad quotes

I don't know why these jets were invisible. That was just bad marketing.

[choice selects Emma Stone or Ned Flanders] Our judges say Emma St-- oh. Looks like that wasn't a mustache after all!

How many times have I told you not to leave your skin on the floor?

Pfft, peel with it.

[groans] I hate this parade. [segment ends]

Well, here we go. First off with everything. [underwear falls, people laugh]

Let's eat! [kids chew gum from their turkey, blow gum; pop all everywhere] Somehow, I don't think this happened at the first Thanksgiving.

The bigger question is, what's he doing in these woods? Let's ask that park ranger. Excuse me; sir, can you... [park ranger becomes a turkey]

What the? That man just turned into a turkey!

We need some answers.

I don't get it. Normally when I played, the rats are coming right out. Wait a second, this isn't my pipe.

[conquering a group of spikes] Ooh, boy... [lands on a spike, dies]

Tom and Jury 'cause kids can't stay up for the real shows. Plus, we already did Mouse M.D.

Hey, this is... [before he could finish, Agent J zaps him with his neuralyzer] A lovely scent you have here.

[the dreidel stops spinning] Gimmel, hooray!

This diet stinks! I haven't lost any weight!

That's because you haven't completed the final step! Standing in the sun and letting it melt away like extra pounds!

I don't think this is going to work for me because I'm not made of snow.

Not with that attitude, you're not!

You're not even pretending to listen to me, are you?

Select now and you two can have sculpted abs like me!

Yeah, that's actually an ice cube tray. Ugh, this diet clearly isn't for humans, is it?

What's a human?

Well, there's any box down the tubes.

Well, have you considered...

Again, no chimney here! It's a bank!

Oh; come on, White Collar isn't that bad.

I'm not talking about White Collar. [segment ends]