MacGyver quotes from MacGyver

(after his plane blows up) I could just hear old Pete Thornton saying, "Why does he always have to wait until the last possible second?"

Pete

(back at Phoenix Foundation) He always waits until the last possible second.

Is your mother aware of all this?

She's a woman. She doesn't know about man's business.

So where is she now?

Milking the goat.

Isn't that your job?

It's not a man's work. (looks sheepish) The goat doesn't like me.

Pete Thornton

What the hell are you doing here?

What do you mean, what am I doing here? You take an emergency leave of absence, grab a Soviet IdD a map of Northern Russia and you split. You didn't even say goodbye to me.

Pete Thornton

What, so you just naturally have to follow me?

Pete, we're friends. If you got troubles, I've got troubles.

Natalia

You are black market.

No, we're just your basic revolutionaries.

Power to the people!

Pete

Change the timing?

Remember Belgrade?

Pete

Mm. Don't change the timing.

Pete

Maria, are you sure you can handle your part of this plan?

My part is simple, they take advantage of cheap labor from the village. But yours, MacGyver, is… it's a bit mad.

Yah, that's the idea.

MacGyver. Sometime consultant for the Phoenix Foundation. Alleged hockey player. Camel smuggler. Jack of all trades.

Jill Melissa Ludlum. Born in London. PhD, System Design, Oxford University, 1980. 1980-82, designed the Ludlum cybernetic circuit. 82-83... took a year off, for personal reasons. 83-86, immersed in the SRDA project. Hasn't come up for air yet. Reported to be a premiere technocrat.

This was a bad idea. This garbage chute is programmed to send everything into an acid bath. It can only hold 280 pounds.

I weigh 175. That means if you weigh any more than 105, we're in trouble.

I think we're OK.

I lied, I'm 108!

Thornton

Mmm, this is great. Did you make this?

You're supposed to heat it.

Thornton

Mmm, I like it cold.

I didn't think you'd go in for whipped bean curd.

What're we gonna do?

Give me a couple of bobby pins.

Bobby pins? Sure.

Yeah. Great. Let me borrow this, and, uh, a couple of buttons. Make it three.

Another MacGyverism! Oh...

And let me borrow your glasses, please.

They're yours.

Yeah, thanks.

So what do we do now?

(letting down her hair, opening up her blouse) You just did it.

Pete

Mac, help me pick up this money, will ya? I wanna get it back to the Foundation vault.

You mean all this money is real? But you said it was fake.

I didn't want you to get nervous.

Pete

Are you telling me you let this man carry around three hundred thousand dollars in cash and he thought it was fake money?

I didn't want to affect his performance.

[entering a hostile country] We just crossed the border.

Pete

Pilot says we just left Thailand. He's not a happy guy.

I don't blame him.

Now I'm going to need some empty cans, some fuel, noisemaker, and some form of grease. Animal fat will do. Open that, will you, Pete?

What's he doing?

Pete

I haven't got a clue. But I'm used to it.

I've never been able to figure out how your mind works. How do you think of these things?

Well, when it comes down to me against the situation, I don't like the situation to win.

Pete

Mac, I have just one question about rappelling: what do you do if the line breaks?

You fall.

Pete

Oh.