Life on Mars quotes

179 total quotes



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Gene Hunt: [about Ted Bannister] Tenner says he did it.
Sam Tyler: This is-
Gene Hunt: Tenner and a tin of Party Seven.
Sam Tyler: If you think that I'm going to reduce a murder investigation to the level of a playground bet--
Gene Hunt: [to the accompaniment of chicken noises from Ray] Cowardy cowardy custard. Can't cut the mustard.

Gene Hunt: [disgusted] Looks like they've been thinking up [porn movie] titles.. Listen to this: "On Her Majesty's Secret Cervix".

Gene Hunt: [gives Tyler a gun] Here, wave this around inside and try and look hard for once in your life!
Sam Tyler: Have you never heard of softly, softly?
Gene Hunt: Yes, but I prefer Z-Cars! [he and Sam storm into the building] Don't move! You're surrounded by armed bastards!

Gene Hunt: [sarcastic] Well this is nice! Shall I get us some Bakewell tarts?!
Sam Tyler: Tell me about Charley Witham.
Gene Hunt: I'll tell you about her. She's what every copper dreads. A dead child. And parents looking to you for answers.
[Flashback to a year ago. A video of Charley Witham and Gene Hunt and Charley Witham's parents watching]
Gene Hunt: [voiceover] Last year, I stood in their home, knowing I was their only hope of getting justice.
[Video carries on playing. Numerous clips of Charley laughing, playing, smiling, holding her pet cat, doing a handstand. Then the video stopped.]
Mrs Witham: We wanted you to see her, as we saw her. Chief Inspector. With everything ahead of her. Our perfect 10. Our Charley. [She starts to cry and leaves]
[Cut to present day]
Gene Hunt: [emotional] I erm, had the job of showing them... what their lovely perfect 10... had become.
[Flashback to morgue. Mr and Mrs Witham and Gene Hunt looking at Charley's body]
Gene Hunt: We think she knew her killer. Leaves were cleared away like they were making space. A rag was stuffed into her mouth. Probably didn't mean to kill her. Probably only wanted to keep her quiet. Smothered her face. Panicked and ran away.
Mrs Witham: So, she suffocated 20 feet from the road. From people walking their dogs, cars.
[Don Witham takes Charley's hand and kisses it]

Gene Hunt: [Seeing Annie Cartwright's organised all the files for the current case] Bloody hell, Cartwright! Do you wanna come over my house and sort out my garage?

Gene Hunt: [To Sam] Where are you today, then? Here, or Planet of the Clangers?

Gene Hunt: Always trust the Gene Genie!

Gene Hunt: Blardy, blardy, history bloody blah. It doesn't take a degree in applied bollocks to know what's going on!
Sam Tyler: Go on then, amaze me with your insubstantial guesswork!
Gene Hunt: He's come over here, started dealing, and Rocket or one of the other local drugs boys has took offence and offed him!
Sam Tyler: Wow. That was better than I expected. Copper jumps to conclusion and fits evidence to match. Birmingham Six, here we come!

Gene Hunt: He's got fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course.

Gene Hunt: I don't know... [pause] ... who the biggest dickhead is round here. [to Ray Carling] You, for what happened... [to Sam] You, for your holier than thou act... or me, for having any of you on my team.

Gene Hunt: I may be a sheriff, but I'm a deputy to the law.

Gene Hunt: I reckon we can take him, I'll jump on him, you take his gun and Cartwright can jump up and down on his knackers.

Gene Hunt: I think you've forgotten who you're talking to.
Sam Tyler: An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?
Gene Hunt: You make that sound like a bad thing.

Gene Hunt: If you think I'm gonna let you walk away from this investigation, than you're in for an even bigger disappointment than when we found out the plonk Doris Bangs was a name and not a promise!

Gene Hunt: Juries love all that. Makes 'em feel like Columbo.