Life on Mars · Season 2, Episode 8
“Undercover” · Season 2, Episode 8
In this episode: Sam Tyler (10), Gene Hunt (3), Annie Cartwright (3), DS Ray Carling (2), Nelson (1), Phyllis (1)
[Sam and Gene are having another discussion about police work]
Our definitions of policing may vary marginally.
And yours is?
Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law.
Training college?
Robocop. [Pause] You can't uphold the law by breaking it.
[Sam hears Jimmy Savile on the radio]
Wow! But the big news is they've found the cause of Sam's prolonged coma! Ooh! Now then guys and gals, there's a tumour in the temporal lobe of Sam's brain, they thought it was a clot but, hows about that, a clot it is not! Wow! It may be operable, double wow!...Our very good friends here at the hopsital say they can cut out the tumour.
Cut it out! Cut it out! Fix it for me, Jim!.
I see a darkness in you, Sam.
Oh, you can see into me, can you, Nelson? Well, Come on then. Am I mad? Huh? Is this real? Come on. I just want to know the truth.
We all want that, Sam. What's real. What's not. I see folk who walk about in a sunken dream, 'cause they feel nothing. Are they alive?
I wake up every morning and I tell myself I am alive.
When you can feel, then you're alive. When you don't feel, you're not.
You have amnesia, Sam.
I'm in a coma, Frank.
[Sam has just revealed that he is betraying Gene]
That's why you're leaving, isn't it? I bet sometimes you can't look at yourself in the mirror.
[Starts to cry]
I listened to all your problems and worries, and I can't believe I felt sorry for you.
[Slaps Sam]
Hurts, doesn't it? That's because it's real!
I went someplace mum and every day I woke up in that place and I told myself ‘I'm alive' and I was. In some ways more than I've ever been. You know, a barman [laughs] a barman once told me that you know when you're alive because you can feel and you know when you're not because you don't feel anything. I made a promise mum; I made a promise to someone who I care about very much.
Then you've got nothing to worry about because you always keep your promises.
[Sam's back in present day and is in a meeting]
Sam look at your hand.
[He looks at his thumb which is bleeding from an accidental cut] I can't feel anything. [ Life on Mars? starts playing in the background]
What?
Excuse me. [He leaves]
[Sam has just returned to 1973 and to where the shoot-out is]
Tyler!
Sam! Help us!
[Sam shoots the last remaining gang member who is about to shoot Gene again]
Now that's just showing off.
[To Annie] Are you alright?
[She nods]
I told you I'd never leave you.
Well, good for us!
[Sam tries to help Gene to stand up]
Get off. I'm not a fairy!
[angrily] I got shot because of you!
I know. I'm truly sorry, Ray.
Still, I met a bird, medical bird.
Called nurses.
Big tits, arse like two cox's pippins in a bag.
She sounds enigmatic.
No, boss, she was from Barnsley.
[Sam is looking around the pub for Annie and Phyllis notices]
Go and find her.
What?
I'm not just a sex goddess, I've got eyes. Go on. [She gestures to outside the pub]
[Sam's back in the present day; this is spoken as a voiceover]
My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident and I woke up in 1973. I had no idea if I was mad, or if I was in a coma, or if I'd gone back in time. It was like I'd woken up on a different planet. But I knew that if I could find out the reason, that I could get home. DI Sam Ty- [He checks himself]... DCI Sam Tyler, Greater Manchester Police.
Tell me...
Tell you what, Sam?
Tell me what I should do, Annie.
[Pause]
[Emotionally] Stay. Here. Forever.
Okay, then. I will.
[They kiss]
[Gene pulls up in the car]
TYLER! Put that soppy plonk down and get in! Blag on at Archer Lane, shots fired, lovely! [Chris and Ray emerge from the pub] You two tarts, get in! And you, flash knickers!
You shouldn't be driving with that leg.
Well, I am.
You were shot.
Yeah, and so will you be in a minute if you don't get in!
[On the car radio, Sam hears a doctor speaking]
We're losing him. Sam? Sam?
[Can hear heartbeat go faster then flatline.]
I hate this channel.
[Sam switches radio channels and Life on Mars? quietly plays. Sam turns the volume up.]
That's better.
What are you doing, Raymondo?
Can't get the door shut.
I should be driving.
You drive like my Aunt Mabel!
If you injure someone while driving this, it's technically a criminal offence!
Oh shut up, you noncey-arsed fairy boy!
[smiling to himself] Such elegant banter! Try and keep under 70, oh, and radio for uniform!
I don't need plod getting in the way!
It's procedure! You're not above the law, you know, guv!
What're you on about? I AM THE LAW!
Yeah, in your dreams.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Life on Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
