Chris Skelton and Sam Tyler in “The Stabbing”

Bingo! I got one. Martin Ellis, lorry driver. Waiting for a fabrics pick-up at 2:30 this morning. Spotted a thickset man running of the loom hall.

Good, can I see it?

Chris, have you ever seen anybody that looks like that?

It's the best we could do.

It's a doddle, then. We're looking for someone with hamster's cheeks, a nose like Audrey Hepburn and a two-foot forehead.