Leverage · Season 1
We're going with a much bigger scam. One of the classics.
The "London Spank"?
The "Genevan Paso Doblé"?
The "Apple Pie"?
[everyone stares at him in confusion]
It's like The "Cherry Pie", but with lifeguards.
[savoring the thought] Ooh.
[announcing the actual con they'll be doing] The "Glengarry Glen Death". It's like mutual fund, but instead of stocks, you invest in, in death. [Walks out to the balcony]
Is it me or is he getting creepier?
What business do you have here in Florida?
I like the outlet malls.
Can we give [Parker] a fake tumor?
Oh, we could inject her brain with some contrast dye and have it pool into her cranial cavity, but there might be some side effects.
Like what?
Organ failure, death, death-like symptoms.
I vote for Plan B.
You know, you could get another chamber, then put a brain with a tumor in that one and send the signal to the monitor for this chamber. Cross the wires.
[The team gives him curious looks]
What? I dated a neurologist.
Somebody find me a brain. [walks out]
Oh, yeah, he's definitely getting creepier.
[after losing to Eliot twice in Rock, Paper, Scissors] Well, I’ll be damned. How do you do that?
You have a tell.
I—I have a tell…
Yeah.
In Rock, Paper, Scissors...
Yeah. Go!
Guys, you got to trust me, all right? You've trusted me before, and with your life.
[slams his hand down on the table] Not when you're drunk.
Oh, come on.
You're not in control of yourself.
So, what, you're gonna control me? Is that it?
Ah, I ain't your daddy. You can drink yourself into a coma as far as I’m concerned, but you take me down with you--then it's my problem.
You know, you talk too much. You ought to just go skip some rope.
What? What? [gets up angrily]
Skip some rope.
You want me to skip something? [heads across the room]
Hey, hey! [gets in front of Eliot]
I'll skip your drunk ass off this marble floor.
Now, don't you dare give me the "we're all a family" speech.
Mnh-Mnh. No speeches. Just a question. Is this helping you? Hmm? If you give Wayne Scott back what he lost, will you be satisfied?
You know me. I can do this.
I knew you two years ago.
Well, I’m still the same person.
No. You're not
No, I’m not.
Yeah, it's a little bigger than the other place, but [tosses keys to Wayne] I hope it'll do.
[to Hardison] Are you crying?
No. No. It's the Florida air. Pollen.
You never used to go in for theatrics.
Well, like you said, I’ve changed.
You're still a mess. You know, one of these days, they may not stick around and back you up.
They?
Yes. They. I'm me.
Are you threatening to bail on me, Sophie?
[Smiling] Give me a reason to stay.
Bit early for that, isn't it?
What--what's that? [sees her holding pop can] What does that matter? What does that matter? What matters is this nice woman runs a food bank--you know, that we keep her out of prison. That's what's the matter. Look, this guy is probably halfway around the world already. Let's go.
[tasked with going to a bunch of strip clubs to find Hurley]
Mmm. [to Nate] You know, I'm--I'm gonna need change for $100...in singles.
I'm sorry. What? Y-you think I have 100 singles on me?
Don't get mad, but...I may have spilled slushie in your car.
That's like forty-four ounces, Hardison!
It's not that much...
The lid is floating in the damn floorboard, man!
Wow. You are...
It's running into the backseat!
Very dramatic.
When we get back to the office, you're cleaning this up.
Seriously? [Spots Jack leaving the bar]
You're cleaning this up as soon as we get back!
That's our guy, right there.
I'm not--don't try to change the subject!
Really? I almost had it in me to wash this car. Almost.
Ten bucks says you're washing the car.
I know it ain’t
[Hardison gets a gun from gang members during a fight and shoots their car before he and Eliot run away.]
Nice job, blowing out the engine block.
I was aiming for his leg.
[Beat]
Gimme the gun, Hardison!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Leverage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
