Law & Order: Special Victims Unit · Season 1
I'm gonna need investors. You interested?
What you smokin'?
Come on. Then we'd get to still be partners after you left the squad. That is, if you're really leaving.
Watch me.
You know, if one more person dumps me, I'm gonna start taking it personally. Aside from my wives, there was Jeffries, Cassidy, Meldrick, Stan "The Big Man" Bolander. Stan the Man was my mentor in Baltimore, just like I am yours. Circle of life, my friend. Circle of life.
[after Stabler's credit card case has been solved, Kathleen walks up to him]
Dad!
Kathleen, what are you doin' here?
You had my boyfriend arrested? What the hell?
What are you talkin' about?
Tony didn't steal your credit card. I had to buy some books for school, so I borrowed it when I was home on Sunday.
You didn't buy any books! You never told me you had a boyfriend.
Well, I do, and you'd better make it right.
I'd better make-- What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me?!
Ell.
Tony didn't do anything.
[heads back to the squad room] We're not gonna talk about this now. And you're gonna get that thing removed from your leg!
You have a tattoo. [leaves]
So, how does this work? Do we all go out for a celebratory drink?
Well, if we had a bar, drinks would be on the house.
[to Stabler] I can tell you have children. Do you wanna show me family photos? [pause] I promise not to drool.
I love my husband.
I know you do, Lisa.
I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. [in tears] But I don't wanna die!
That's good to hear. Have a seat.
Patrol dumped this one on us, why? Because a whack job was found naked in the shower?
Elliot!
Last week it was because a guy had his johnson out taking a piss in the alley. What's next? Fido puppy humping in the dog run?
Elliot! I called you in.
Why, because your "Spidey Sense" tells you she was a rape victim?
Because she's your daughter.
My daughter needed a shark, you're the deadliest one I know.
Thanks?
The minute Dad dies, you sell the house and move here.
What was I supposed to do, get on my knees and say my rosary and pray for his immortal soul?
He sure as hell needed it.
[laughs] And then some.
Grams, do you think I'm crazy?
Do you feel crazy?
I don't know. It's like the world is full of all these ding-a-ling force fields and every time I touch one, I shimmer.
Yeah, and sometimes just the thought of getting out of bed makes you so tired, you feel like you need a 12 hour nap?
Yeah. How did you know?
[smiles] That's the price we pay for greatness.
Sex is dangerous. At its heart it's a power struggle between a man and a woman.
Not if you do it right.
C'mon, Elliot. It doesn't have to go down this way. We can solve this together. 2 marines.
You killed that woman. You dumped her body in the river. You had the nerve to shake my boy's hand!
I have patients waiting.
God help them.
You're a murderer and a false prophet.
That's what they said about Jesus Christ.
Any idea where our crispy critter came from?
Follow the bloody brick road.
So what's your story?
Excuse me?
You have kids? You're pretty old.
I'm here to talk about you.
I bet you're jealous. Old chicks are totally jealous of me. Is that it? Did you wait too long? Tick-tock…
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
