BBurglary Detective
Why don't you take all the burglaries in Manhattan?
We only want the one where the burglar spills his seed in the victim's u-trou.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
BBurglary Detective
So we didn't call you. So no one wants to call you. Ever. You know, you guys are up to your necks in perversity 24/7, and my men don't understand why it is you picked your squad.
It's people like you that makes our squad necessary.
BBurglary Detective
Yeah. Well, my people don't want whatever it is you got. You're tainted. 10 bucks says the only other cops you hang out with are Brooklyn SVU.
You lose. Bronx SVU.
(to the burglary detective) Don't touch me. I don't like to be touched.
Frick and Frack.
Alfonse and Gaston.
Slappy and Happy.
You know how it is. You spend time with someone, eventually they will corrupt you.
Sure. It's a major historical force that drags great people to the lowest common denominator.
With you around, we're all doomed.
Do we look like imbeciles to you?
KKeith
They're just pictures.
THEY'RE NOT JUST PICTURES!! They're underaged girls, they're scared, drugged and being photographed without their permission. You little snot-nosed son of a bitch, you’re gonna tell me what I wanna know, you got that?
[to Keith] Look. Someone comes to me and says they want to store illegal stuff in my garage, he's either my best friend or I'm getting something out of the deal.
[about Internet predators] Why can't you arrest them? You know they're out there.
[gesturing to the computer across the room] Honey, they're in here.
Stabler [to Cragen about a victim's story]: He flashed her. He perved her in ways she's not even aware of.
Okay. How about this? He entered into an improper relationship with a minor.
You just said no real sex. According to her story.
He doesn't know that. He doesn't know what she told us.
Oh. Now, Captain. You're not suggesting we lie to the poor man, are ya?
Absolutely not. Role-playing. Fantasy. Make-believe. That crap he's been peddling to us about victimless crimes.
[after the FBI has interfered with SVU's investigation] Don't you ever bad-mouth my people in their own station house.
SAgent Schreck
Better get used to it. 'Cause when I tell Langley how an operation that involved 9 regional bureaus got blown, your name is gonna be prominently featured.
It's spelled C-R-A-G-E-N. And we were doing what we always do, which is to take pedophiles off the street!
SAgent Schreck
4 collars, at the expense of hundreds more, who, right now, are getting e-mail telling them the cops are on 'em.
It's a hell of a lot more than you did for us!
SAgent Schreck
It was an undercover OPERATION!!
You were in my city investigating sex crimes, and you didn't seem fit to give me a heads-up?!
SAgent Schreck
We're dealing with virtual world, which is everywhere and nowhere!
But eventually, you gotta put real-life cuffs on a real-life perp!
SAgent Schreck
It's not just you! We were in Los Angeles and Chicago and dozens of other places! It's for the right reason. We wanted to bring in the big predators.
That's why the bad guys were runnin' rings around us.
SAgent Schreck
Why?
Because they're workin' together, and we're not.
WWallace
The Internet has opened up a whole world of possibilities.
Easy access. No more trees to climb, no binoculars to lug around. You can look into a little girl's bedroom with just a click of a mouse.
WWallace
You see?
See what?
WWallace
You see why the children love me? He's so cold, so angry. The kids from the bad homes, the neglected ones, the abused... when they leave the social worker's office with their anatomically correct dolls, when they leave the police station, they're in tears.
What's your point, Wallace?
WWallace
When they leave me, they're all smiles.
SASal Avelino's Attorney
My client can't do a line-up right now.
He can rest between the IDs.
SASal Avelino's Attorney
Okay, but he wants to be first in line.
You want to be number one, Sal?
SASal Avelino
Yeah.
What, is that your lucky number?
SASal Avelino
As a matter of fact, it is.
Okay, number one it is. Good luck.
NGNick Ganzner
You close your eyes, is that it, to have sex?
I have sex with my eyes wide open.
[to Benson] Never turn your back on a reporter.
[to a transit cop] I'd like you to go sit on the third rail.
[to P.K.] Got a name for this guy?
PKP.K.
Tommy something ... Irish.
There are, like, 2,000,000 Irish in New York, P.K.
PKP.K.
[gives a thumbs up] Good luck.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.