Humphrey quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Dr. Huang

What did your mother do to you?

Humphrey

Please, with you people, it's always the mothers.

Humphrey

Why, detective, is that your phone vibrating, or do you just find me terribly exciting?

Stabler

911 from the wife.

Benson

I talked to Novak. He gives us her location, she'll take the death penalty off the table.

Stabler

Oh, I don't know. You know how I hate letting these kids get away with that kinda thing. Okay. Bye-bye. [hangs up]

Humphrey

[suspiciously] Oh, no "I love you" this time? It rings one more time, and we're DONE!! AS IS JEANETTE!!

I had such high hopes for him.

Humphrey

[sarcastically] Well, it was nice visiting.

He was supposed to grow up to be somebody.

Humphrey

I'm sitting right here.

In a police station! Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me?!

Humphrey

I did this for you, Ida. I'm finally going to be famous, just like you always wanted. Happy now?

You were never anything but trouble!

Dr. Huang

He was a difficult child?

You can't imagine.

Humphrey

Shut up, Ida!

I couldn't take him anywhere! Not even my movies!

Humphrey

Shut up.

Soon as the lights went down, he'd throw a tantrum!

Humphrey

Stop it!

Stabler

He was afraid of the dark?

He was a crybaby!

Humphrey

STOP IT!

He'd cry like a baby till they'd ask us to leave.

Humphrey

Oh, you sure in hell figured out a way to see 'em!

Dr. Huang

How did you manage that, Ida?

Humphrey

NEVER MIND!

Stabler

I'd like to know.

What else could I do? I had to leave him at home.

Stabler

Alone?

I made sure that he couldn't get in trouble.

Humphrey

Shut up, Ida!

Stabler

That's why you took the doors off. She locked you in the closet.

Well, you know, he might have hurt himself running around the house.

Humphrey

THAT'S ENOUGH!!

And it was only for two hours. But he'd get so worked up, he'd soil himself.

Humphrey

[breaking down] Shut up! Please! Shut up! Don't you ever shut up?! DON'T YOU EVER SHUT UP?! [lunging at her, Humphrey is restrained by Stabler] I'll kill you, you bitch! You bitch!

You see how he treats his mother?!