Olivia Benson quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Where are you taking me?

Benson

Central Booking.

May I tie my shoe?

Stabler

Yeah, sure. Go ahead.

Thank you.

Great body.

Benson

Excuse me?

The coffee. Though I`ll bet yours is smooth and robust.

Dad!

Stabler

Kathleen, what are you doin' here?

You had my boyfriend arrested? What the hell?

Stabler

What are you talkin' about?

Tony didn't steal your credit card. I had to buy some books for school, so I borrowed it when I was home on Sunday.

Stabler

You didn't buy any books! You never told me you had a boyfriend.

Well, I do, and you'd better make it right.

Stabler

I'd better make-- What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me?!

Benson

Ell.

Tony didn't do anything.

Stabler

[heads back to the squad room] We're not gonna talk about this now. And you're gonna get that thing removed from your leg!

You have a tattoo. [leaves]

Stabler

Patrol dumped this one on us, why? Because a whack job was found naked in the shower?

Benson

Elliot!

Stabler

Last week it was because a guy had his johnson out taking a piss in the alley. What's next? Fido puppy humping in the dog run?

Benson

Elliot! I called you in.

Stabler

Why, because your "Spidey Sense" tells you she was a rape victim?

Benson

Because she's your daughter.

So what's your story?

Benson

Excuse me?

You have kids? You're pretty old.

Benson

I'm here to talk about you.

I bet you're jealous. Old chicks are totally jealous of me. Is that it? Did you wait too long? Tick-tock…

Do you want to see the awesome stroller I picked out?

Benson

Fidelia, this is a baby we're talking about, it's not an accessory, it's not a bracelet or a pair of earrings or a slammin' pair of jeans. This is a living breathing human being you're bringing onto this earth.

You think I don't know that?

Benson

If you did you'd be petrified about your future. Do you know the odds of a teen mom finishing high school? Forget college, or any other dream you might have. Life as you know it is over. There's no going to the mall or hanging out with your friends. I mean, you might see them, but it'll probably be in line waiting for food stamps, or all of you going to the doctor trying to get an appointment at the free clinic.

Daddy, make her be quiet.

That's enough, detective.

Benson

Do you know the health risks to babies of teen moms? Dyslexia, retardation, um, increased risks of blindness, cerebral palsy.

Daddy!

Don't you blame my daughter. She's just a child.

Benson

That is my point exactly.

Did you ask Linnie how she escaped?

Benson

No. Does it matter?

She asked for a meeting to discuss a plea bargain. I let her use the bathroom, she crawled out the window.

Benson

So you took the fall?

For years, whenever a rookie ADA pulled a stupid move, it was known as "doin' a Donnelly".

You've got a lot of nerve, detective.

Benson

Why? Because you can't tell me what to do?

Benson

Would you have killed him?

Would you have shot me?

Benson

I can't answer that, and you deserve to know why. I was sexually assaulted 6 months ago.

Quit kicking yourself.

Benson

That's easy to say, and hard to do.

It takes practice. You'll get there.

Benson

You can’t tell me that there’s no connection between porn and rape.

Fin

Whoa, whoa, whoa, look. I've enjoyed adult entertainment a time or 2 and I have never forced a woman.

Benson

So after what we see all day, you go home and watch women being degraded to get off?

Fin

All women don’t feel the same way you do about porn. My girl digs it. Plus you've got women running multi-million dollar porn production companies.

Stabler

Women making porn? That’s like the whore on the corner working her way up to pimp. Doesn’t make it right.

Fin

Lighten up, choir boy. You don’t have to be a perv to like porn.

Benson

Oh, yeah? Then how come people don’t put V for Vagina next to Vertigo on their bookshelves?

Fin

'Cause they’re afraid of being judged by prudes like you.

Where's Kristen? I would like to see her.

Benson

And I would like to see you castrated with a rusty steak knife. Neither are going to happen, but we can both dream.

Are you a dancer?

Benson

No, Sid. I`m a detective, remember?

Oh... You're pretty enough to be a dancer.

Benson

Thank you, Sid.

[to Stabler] You're not.

Stabler

That's the cross I bear.

Stabler

How do you know when a lawyer is lying?

Benson

When his lips are moving?

Fin

What are we waitin' on?

Stabler

Cragen. He says we don't touch the place until Greylek sees it, just in case IAB wants to screw with us again.

Munch

You sure Greylek's not on one of her "I gotta be at the crime scene" crusades?

Fin

[looks ahead] That's not Greylek.

Benson

Alex!

What have we got?

Stabler

Where's Greylek?

New administration called her back to the justice department. DA let her leave immediately.

Benson

And McCoy drafted you to fill in.

I wasn't drafted. Jack asked me.

Benson

No one told us about it.

I only accepted an hour ago.