You people make me stink!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I saw it with my own two eyes. I had to choke back a blush!
It's different for you. You don't have a reputation to protect.
What are you talking about, Shirley? For the first time in my life, I got a reputation!
It just doesn't seem fair. A guy with a reputation is a hero. A girl with a reputation is a bimbo It just doesn't seem fair.
Well, who knows, maybe a hundred years from now all that will have changed.
Yeah, wouldn't it be great if no one cared about your reputation? Think of all the fun you could have!
Touch my "L," sweetie, and your teeth go to Peoria!
FMrs. Feeney
Now tell me, what do you girls like to do on a Saturday night?
At home or in a car?
Lenny and I have two very respectful women upstairs, and we'd like to settle down to a nice, quiet orgy.
Stop it, I'm going to lose my lust!
What would you have to do if we wanted a color TV?
We don't do those things.
RRichie
Well, maybe we should do something again sometime.
Anything but murder, mister.
[To Lenny] What are you doing?!? When I'm talking to girls, don't stick your fingers in your mouth!
BRBig Rosie
[To Shirley] She drowned my fox!! (after Laverne dumps her stole in the punch-bowl)
Me and Squiggy was talking and we decided that your kid oughta have a last name.
Huh?
On account of, if he don't, the poor little guy's never gonna get any mail.
So, me and Squiggy flipped a coin to see which one of us was gonna volunteer to be your husband.
Awwww, and you lost, huh?
No, I won.
Now, Kosnowski's a pretty good last name Laverne. I had it practically all my life. My grandfather told me it means 'Help, there's a hog in my kitchen!'.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Laverne & Shirley pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.