Mum, do you want a... threw... for your carch?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
PPrue
I was furious, Trude, because she knew we had the Stockbrokers-in-Crisis polo picnic, and we had to make thirty mini goats' cheese pizzas!
Why, Flick's like that; she doesn't think! I mean, she and Jeff are grayshsh, and i love seeing them at Noorrsa...
PPrue
Yes, but down here she is just too full-on.
Oh, that reminds me -- that little man from Beechtree and Sons is coming over to talk hoihurba.
PPrue
Oh God, I hope he's surba. Oh, we've got stacks of hoihurba left urva from Octurba! (Sees Kath and Kim) You all right there?
Trude Or are you just happy brahzing?
Heres your statue, Mum! (brings in a statue of little baby cheeses)
OH! What in the love in God is that?
It's the statue you wanted!
What? No, it's not, Kim!
Yes, it is! It's a statue of little baby cheeses!
Little baby cheeses? Oh, little baby "Jesus", Kim. JESUS! (sighs) Oh, Jesus!
Oh, give it a bone, Mum.
I would, Kim, but you already ate it.
For your information, I do have a date. A STICKY DATE!
Oh, don't be foul, Kim!
What country are you from, Imran? Hmm, mustn't have heard me.
Lucky him.
Eyes Wide Shut, that was a funny film! Actually I might get that out on DVD...yeah...get me out on myself...
"Kimmie, look at me. Look at me please. Look at me, look at me. Now, I have one word for you: feng shui."
"What?"
"You've got your back to the door. It means your enemies can come in at any time and clock you on the head!"
"Someone's gonna clock you on the head in a minute."
"What was that Kim?"
"Nothing, just said we need a clock by the bed."
"I was thinking of going with monogamy."
"Oh no, Kim, monogamy's very old fashioned. You just want a veneer of monogamy. That's all people care about these days."
What I think? I'll tell you what I think. I think you can stick the A.I.S right up your A.I.S.E.
"Mum, look at me. Don't I look like Rachel Hunter?"
"Err yeh love... *scratches eyelid*... you look like some sort of Hunter."
If it's not Dotti or Witchery, don't talk to me.
"Watch and learn, Brett, I'm gonna work the room."
[glances around]
"Kelly, empty glasses here - NOT A GOOD LOOK!"
[Kim is slightly bumped by one of Brett's co-workers]
Kim [swiftly turning around]: "I could have you sacked for that!"
"Ohhh, so you're the famous Jarred I've heard all about."
Jarred (smiling): "All good, I hope."
"No... I'll have a cardonnay (pronounced kar-doe-nay) thanks Jarred."
Kim (yoghurt dripping from her mouth down her top): "I'm corporate, I could entertain those dickheads anyday."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kath & Kim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.