This was a great idea, Wally. I can't remember the last time we've had a chance to catch up.
Mostly my fault. I've been pretty busy in Central City.
I wanna hear all about it. I saw some of it on the news, but it's not the same a--
I'm sorry. I thought we were having dinner tonight.
Is it Tuesday? Silly me. Making dinner plans with two beautiful women on the same night.
We can do this another time.
Don't be ridiculous. We can all have a meal together. It's a chance for us to get reacquainted, patch things up.
Now, there's an example of exactly the kind of thing we're not gonna do anymore, right? I'm telling you, once we clear the air, everybody's gonna be pals again. I always thought the reason you two don't get along is that you're so much alike.
SHShayera Hol and Wonder Woman
[in unison] Like her?
You weren't gonna eat that, were you? You guys aren't even trying. You could at least talk to each other.
This isn't gonna work, is it?
Hey! Where you going? Come on. I had dinner with two women at the same time. 'Cause I'm a stud.
Etrigan, calm yourself. Let me help you.
EEtrigan
[screaming, shifting between demon and human forms] The gates of Tartarus swing both ways! AARGH! The balance tilts towards chaos! Usurper! Fiend!
I don't know. Suddenly all of our members with magical powers-- Well, you can see.
[speaking backwards] Lleh fo enorht eht no stis tsuaf! Tsol si lla! ["All is lost! Faust sits on the throne of Hell!"]
They're in agony. What can we do?
I'm researching. As soon as I learn something, I'll let you know.
HHermes
No, it's the original speedster. Hey, Diana. I let myself in.
Hermes. How may I serve the messenger of the gods?
HHermes
Don't be so formal, Diana. You're practically a member of the family. Not that this is a social visit. I've got something for you, here, it's pretty important. Zeus paid for overnight service. Here it is. [Hands her a scroll]
[reading] "For a good time, call Podenemus"...?
HHermes
[Grabs the scroll] Wha-uh-, heh-heh... Wrong scroll. Hm. I think I got a shot, it's her cell number... Here we go. [reads] "By decree of Zeus, father of Olympus, it is so ordered: Diana of Themyscira will travel to Tartarus and set right that what has been disturbed."
He's telling me to go to--
HHermes
Basically. Felix Faust is on the loose again.
HHermes
Yes, and pretty upset about it, too. His spirit possessed a powerful weapon called the Annihilator, then headed straight for the gates of Tartarus. I mean, straight for it. The Amazons did their best to stop him. They're good, but they were out of their weight class. Once inside, he went looking for Hades, the master of Tartarus. Guess Faust is still torqued. Hades messed him over pretty good a few years back.
HHermes
And you'll be there this time. You must defeat Faust and restore Hades to the throne of Tartarus.
So far as I'm concerned they deserve each other. Why should I care about this?
HHermes
You mean, other than the direct-order-from-the-gods thing? Because, you know, there must always be balance between chaos and order. When there isn't-- You've been to the infirmary already, right?
HHermes
Need you to do the right thing. They're in good hands, Diana. Yours.
Shayera? Security override. User code 003.
CComputer
User identity Wonder Woman. Confirmed.
Something I can help you with?
Look, I need it. I'll bring it back.
[walking in on Wonder Woman taking her mace] We become pals while I wasn't looking?
There's trouble on Themyscira. Mystical trouble. Your mace disrupts magic. I thought--
Whatever's happening on that island of yours must be pretty bad for you to resort to this.
Life and death. Can I have it?
Uh-uh. It's a package deal. You want the mace, you get me too.
HHipollyta
Drive them back, sisters. Diana. You know you're not supposed to set foot on this island. The gods have decreed that--
The gods are decreeing stuff all the time around here. Ma'am.
I have to go into Tartarus and stop all of this.
HHipollyta
I won't allow it.
Neither of us has any choice in the matter, Mother.
HHipollyta
Wait. If you are to attempt such a feat, you must have access to your full power. Because you stole your armor and lance, so you were never told of all the powers they possess. When the time comes, you'll know everything you need to know. Bring my daughter back to me.
Nothing to worry about. She's almost as good at kicking butt as I am.
[Demons are attacking Shayera; one grabs her wing but suddenly backs away]
[spreads her wings] That's right, I'm an angel! You can mess with me if you want to... [points upward] But I don't think you wanna mess with the boss! [Demons retreat] If we're lucky, they'll all be that dumb.
AAbnegazar
Let me think... oh, yeah! He's over there! No, wait! He's over there! No, there!
One more answer, and it better be the right one.
AAbnegazar
Or what? You'll kill me? Gosh, I might end up suffering eternal torment as punishment for my sins! Oh, wait - I ALREADY AM!
[Wonder Woman has a demon tied up with her lasso.]
I've got one more question: is there anything else we should know?
AAbnegazar
Yeah. You really, really shouldn't go in there. Now, could you please take this rope off of me? I'm a demon! The truth hurts.
Yeah. Didn't think I'd need a jacket where we were going. Aren't you cold in that outfit?
Of course not. The princess doesn't get cold. The princess doesn't even sweat in the fire pits of Tartarus.
Please, you glow. I wouldn't be surprised if you never have to -
[In the distance, Hades screams]
