Doctor Milo, I'm not known for my sense of humor, but I know a sick joke when I see one.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
MDr. Milo
[Seeing Doomsday approach him] What are you...?
Your problem solved.
[Doomsday kills Milo while he screams]
Milo! I'll have his hide for this.
SGSecurity Guard
Doomsday beat you to it, ma'am.
Superman. I'm here to kill you. Is this a bad time?
I know who you are. But I'm not the one who hurt you.
Superman is Superman. And I will kill you.
Why?
It's what I am; I don't care why.
[Superman and Wonder Woman step into the infirmary to visit Batman, recovering after stopping the San Baquero missile]
[Joking] You'll do anything to avoid monitor duty...
Sent him [Doomsday] off to the Phantom Zone, didn't you?
He left us no choice.
Spoken like a true Justice Lord...
[Offended] What!? Come on!
Passing judgment like gods... With our super-powered army and our orbiting death ray... Cadmus is right to be scared - the human race wouldn't stand a chance...
We'd never go there! It isn't in our nature and nothing can change that!
Nothing? What if Luthor does become President, like he did in their world? What would stop you from doing what that Superman did!?
There's always that Kryptonite you carry around...
You don't get to joke! Not today! [Points at him] I just took a bullet for you!
I'm sorry, Bruce. You're right. But you don't have to worry about the Justice League. Trust me. You know me.
Yeah, I do.
Get some rest.
[as his handcuffs are unlocked] What if I don't want to go with him?
Then you can go and take your seat, tough guy.
An expert with nothing to lose... this must be some nasty business.
A little B-and-E, a little grand larceny. No big deal.
Right. What's the target? [Flagg hands him a dossier]
Justice League headquarters.
Always did want to die for my country.
I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough.
That was nothing. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector.
Seventy-five cents is seventy-five cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?
[Task Force X readies their weapons in an elevator.]
[addressing Colonel Flag] And you? Going in unarmed?
This one don't need no weapons.
[Deadshot and Plastique board the elevator; Green Lantern catches the door with his ring]
Hey.
How ya doin'.
[Brief silence; Deadshot gives Plastique a sidelong glance]
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Lantern? For six weeks now, my wife's been after me for Hawkgirl's autograph; you wouldn't know where she's at today, would you?
[annoyed] Haven't seen her. [gets off elevator]
Okay, thanks anyway.
You are a very bad boy.
Tell me you didn't love it.
[Task Force X is attempting to escape the Watchtower; they burst onto the transport deck]
Ask yourselves - is being in here with me what you truly desire?
C'est la vie.
[Plastique whimpering]
[Captain Atom gasps]
Tend to her. They thought of everything.
You really think we can do something with this?
An invulnerable juggernaut forged by the gods? Oh yes, Ms. Waller, most definitely.
Most fun I've had since my last root canal. Well gang, guess I'll be saying-
[Attacked by Colonel Flagg]
Dream on, dirtbag. Five years. You sign up for missions like this for five years. If you survive, then you go free. You don't like it, there's a nice warm seat waiting for you back at Belle Reve Correctional.
Tell me, Colonel - what's Waller got on you?
Not a thing. Some of us don't have to be blackmailed into serving their country.
How did you know Vance was the inside man?
MMMartian Manunter
He was the only one on the tower whose mind I couldn't read. Cadmus must have supplied him with a sophisticated method of masking his thoughts.
So, what do we do with him now?
I'd like to go in there and wipe clean the last two years of his memory.
Whoa. That's a little harsh, don't you think?
He's a liability.
I'm sure he's spilled everything he knows to Cadmus.
Don't you understand? We can't trust him.
J'onn... we can't trust anyone now.
Cool it, Martian. Back off, freak show, or the meat puppet eats it.
Come here. Let's go, girl.
I've set this for 30 seconds. Plenty of time for you to disarm. Or not, as the case may be.
Not very ladylike behavior, ma'am.
Unh! Plastique!
Ah!
DDeadshoot
C'est la vie.
Tend to her. They thought of everything.
You really think we can do something with this?
An invulnerable juggernaut forged by the gods? Oh, yes, Miss Waller, most definitely.
I heard we lost Plastique.
Yes, ma'am. You'll have my full report by 0800.
Right. That'll be all. Rick, you're a good soldier. Your father would be proud.
Ma'am.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Justice League Unlimited pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.