It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia · Season 5
Does anybody else feel really uncomfortable?
Yes, we're completely under-dressed. It's embarrassing.
What are we doing here Frank? What's your angle?
I want to bang your Aunt Donna.
Why would you want to bang our mom's sister at the funeral of her husband?
Well, I don't know how many years on this Earth I got left. I'm going to get really weird with it. Meanwhile, block the wind. I'm going to roast this bone.
Jesus Christ!
Okay, Frank, here's another idea..
Whoa! Whoa! Where'd you come from?
I've been walking next to you the entire time.
Sorry, I'm a little...I'm a little lit. I've been going over this thing, I'm trying to figure out how...
How to bang Donna. I know. You've been talking about it for the last 5 miles.
What kind of a person salts another human being? There's no joy in salting someone.
My god, there's not enough salt in the world for her.
But if I'm being honest my problem is less with the fact he is drinking and more that he is doing it without me. And then I start thinking, what's wrong with me? Am I not fun to drink with?
Oh, no, no. Don't do that to yourself. You're plenty of fun to drink with. Trust me Charlie, you really get drunk and then you get reckless. Its a lot of fun.
You know I do offer group therapy.
Yeah, okay.
What is this? What are you doing?
What? What is that?
With all due respect, you're talking about bringing guns to an intervention and you're drinking wine out of a soda can.
Yeah.
Oh. you put wine in the soda can?
You didn't know did you?
That is good.
Ahh, you stole Frank's idea.
Yeah yeah yeah. Its actually is a pretty good idea.
Well its a good idea. I mean the guy has great ideas.
He is a smart man, that is not what we're here about.
Well I guess my letter would be about how Frank and I aren't really making memories together anymore. And you know how when we don't make memories together that's a hurtful thing for me.
Okay. Uhh, you know let's just dive right in I'm not even going to try and suss out where you're going with that one.
Right. Um, number one, when was the last time we played Night Crawlers together, Frank?
Oh, uh, okay. Wha-what is that?
Well, its not about you... why don't you just right it down and then... ?
Yeah, but you said it... you said Night Crawlers. Now... now I feel like I can't... move past it. I gotta know what that is.
It... its no big deal, you know. If I were you I'd just write it down cause its not really a big deal.
What is it?
Its... what it sounds like.
What it sounds like is that you two crawl around like worms at night. That's what it sounds like.
This is not about you.
As a matter of fact I'm starting to think think we need to intervene on you for your goddamn illiteracy.
Yeah, Charlie, you are getting real dumb.
Come on, alright, this is what I'm talking about. Illiteracy. You know, what does that word even mean?
Intervention! Intervention!
Whoop! Whoop!
You're trapped! You're trapped! You're trapped!
Hyah! Hyah! Get out of here snail! Hyah! Go snail! Go! Hyah!
Oh my god, salt the snail! Salt the snail! Go!
Oh my god. That was a terrible experience for me by the way.
Of course, nobody likes salting the snail but she gives you no choice.
She doesn't leave you with any options.
Horrible thing. I'm all worked up now. I feel bad I feel like maybe... I should have some more wine in a can.
Do wasps make honey?
No wasps do not make honey.
Alright well I'm gonna check it out anyway, there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make and I want that.
Hey yo! Hey what's..what...what are you doing there buddy?
Argh! I'm trying to smoke these hornets to death so I can get their honey, but they keep flying up the tube, stinging me on my face and I think I just swallowed one.
As I tried to explain before, you can not get honey from a hornet's nest.
I just don't think there's any science to support that, buddy.
There is some very basic science out there supporting that.
No, no.
Trust me, pal. Okay, it's actually a fact. It's not even science.
Tell you what, let me pop a quick H on this box this way we all know that it's filled with hornets.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
