Stan McQueen quotes from In Plain Sight

The Lithuanian operation is more than just money laundering. They're terrorists. We're talking murder, drug smuggling, prostitution, and that's just what they do to unwind. Now I've been tracking this group for seventeen months, and I'm telling you, they're a scourge. [gets hard looks from Mary and Marshall] The group. Not Lithuanians as a whole. [hurriedly explains] My mother's side is half Lithuanian! I'm not being a racist!

Mary

Huh! Next Mother's Day maybe you embroider that on a pillow!

Stan

Bottom line, unless Ben get's a transplant he's not going to make it to the trial.

Great! Wouldn't want anything to be easy. Ever!

Mary

That's right. He gave himself liver failure. You know, to spite you.

Mary

[listening to federal prosecutor] Listen to him. We run the race, he takes the victory lap. How long have you know this ballbag anyway?

Stan

Too long.

Marshall

You two aren't related, are you? Inbred in-laws from feuding clans?

Mary

Come on, you're killing me! Give it up, Stan.

Stan

I slept with his...

Mary

Mother? Sister? Say mother.

Stan

Fiance.

Mary

What?!

Marshall

Whoa!

Mary

Stanley, up top! [Mary and Marshall hold up their hands for a high five] Come on. No? [high fives Marshall]

Stan

Ex-fiance. I mean, to be clear, she is now his ex-fiance, all right? And I had no idea they were involved when we got intimate. That's...

Mary

Look at him. Just standing there. Like we're going to just leave it at that.

Marshall

Adorable.

Marshall

You're not annoyed at taking a backseat?

Mary

Are you kidding me? It's Goofus & Gallant in there I get the easy one. The backseat's the least I could hope for; I'm looking for the trunk.

Stan

Good. That's good. Good deal.

Mary

As for your smug little attitude, I'm not so much bothered by it as I am memorizing it. You know, for when this all blows up in your face.

Stan

There we go.

Mary

And for the record, just because my boobs are so big Dolly Parton could sue for silhouette infringement, doesn't mean I'm some delicate flower, some porcelain doll.

Marshall

You know, a layer of porcelain is incorporated into the shell of most modern tanks as an anti-explosive.

Mary

Look, this isn't new. This is no big deal. We've been pushing them out since time began. In mangers, in taxicabs, out in the fields. You think this is going to stop me from doing my job? [phone rings] Watch. [looks at phone] Damn it.

Marshall

What do you got?

Mary

Ultrasound appointment.

Marshall

[deadpan] Have fun.

Stan

We're moving the witness. This thing is done.

McQueen, I can call Washington, get them to okay an alternate juror. You can't shut this down!

Stan

Yeah? I'm a U.S. Marshall, counselor. I got jurisdiction in fifty states, plus territories, and right now I got a witness to protect. You want to call D.C., be my guest!

Mary

This is bullshit, Stan. I'm a WITSEC inspector. If I wanted to be a douche bag special agent, I would have gone to douche bag special agent school!

Stan

I'm not saying you have to do it.

Mary

Look, I don't expect much out of DOJ, but is this office seriously going to bite down this hard on a big fish story peddled by one of its most wanted?!