Marshall Mann quotes from In Plain Sight

Mary

[to Stan] If you go to jail, he becomes my boss, and then I have to kill myself.

Marshall

Thanks. I appreciate that.

Marshall

So, Brandi finally dates someone respectable, and she wants to dump him?

Mary

Respectable and rich. Let's not forget rich, that's the best part.

Stan

Respectable and rich do not the relationship make.

Mary

True.

Eleanor

Nice ass doesn't hurt. [everyone stares at her] Didn't mean to say that out loud, actually.

Eleanor

Why are all these files stapled shut?

Mary

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. It's the Fliegler, it's so damn powerful.

Marshall

She had the same problem with her gun when she first started.

Marshall

What?

Mary

MOU. Couple hundred pages. I'd really like to get out of here before the saints are with us.

Marshall

Sorry, it's just that sometimes I feel like I'm in a movie, too.

Mary

Really? Let me guess: Clueless. Jerk.

Marshall

Actually, I was going to say Taming of the Shrew.

Mary

[answers her phone] Hey, what's up?

Marshall

Where are you? You've got to get in here.

Mary

Why, what's the matter?

Marshall

Stan and Eleanor. You've got to see this.

Mary

Stan and Eleanor what? Are they fighting? [excitedly] Is she getting fired?

Marshall

No, but there's definitely something going on between them.

Mary

Really, gidget? Is she wearing his ring?

Marshall

Ridicule if you must, but I see what I see.

Mary

You see what you want to see. You've got to wonder what that would look like. Stan and Eleanor, doing it.

Marshall

Why do you always have to take it to an ugly place?

Mary

I'll bet she's an animal. It's always the prim ones.

Eleanor

Goodnight.

Marshall

Night!

Mary

Leaving so early? What? Hot date? Bend your man to your Mrs. Robinson, yearning to be schooled in the ways of love?

Eleanor

Don't I wish. Unfortunately, just me and the Tivo tonight.

Mary

Excellent, then you can help me with some research.

Eleanor

How did I not see that coming?

I would make such a good friend... but the harder I try to make them like me, the more they...push me away.

Marshall

Believe me, I know...how hard it is not to chase after the things you want the most. But I learned when I was a kid if your dog runs away, don't chase after him. Run away from him, and he'll start chasing you.

And that works with people?

Marshall

I...

Marshall

Mary, are you ready to go to lunch?

Mary

I thought you'd never ask.

Marshall

[to O'Connor] We'd invite you but...nah.

Mary

So, let's see. The men involved in the car-theft ring you're supposed to testify against are all in jail awaiting trial, which is good. That said, they worked for an international operation that had contacts in Europe, Asia and South America. Not so good.

How long am I going to be in witness protection?

Marshall

We're kind of like the mafia: once you're in, you're in. Except we don't kill you if you decide to leave.

Mary

So if Miles doesn't have a birth certificate...

Marshall

It can only mean one thing.

Mary

Miles is Amish.

Marshall

...or Miles doesn't exist.

Mary

Oh yeah. No, I see where you could get that too.

Marshall

Howdy.

Mary

You're still here?

Marshall

Yep.

Mary

I thought you'd be knee-deep in your third session with Dr. Finkel by now.

Marshall

Nope.

Mary

Come on, man. Don't make me fish.

Marshall

We were knee-deep in a double latte. She, regaling me with stories from her last year of growth and liberation.

Mary

And then?

Marshall

And then what's his name called.

Mary

The ex.

Marshall

Don. From what I could ascertain, he was crying.

Mary

Well... you still got me, Ringo.

Mary

Hey! Hey! Jesus! Jesus!

Marshall

Or alternatively, Jesus. Jesus!

Marshall

Engagement party?

Mary

Yeah, Raph's mother dropped by for a surprise visit. She thinks we're engaged.

Eleanor

Ah poor woman, must be wracked with grief.

Can you imagine seeing your mother being killed like that right in front of you?

Mary

[wistfully] Yeah.

Eleanor

Jesus Moreno is here.

Mary

Thanks, send him in.

Eleanor

Will do. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, tea?

Coffee with cream would be great, thanks.

Eleanor

Coming right up. Mary?

Mary

What?

Eleanor

Would you like some coffee?

Mary

You're feeling guilty about that "wracked with grief" comment aren't you?

Eleanor

Little bit.

Mary

Don't go soft on me.

Marshall

If some guy bought you two $10,000 bags wouldn't you tell your best girl friend all about it?

Mary

C'mon Eleanor, man up.

Eleanor

Mary doesn't have a best girl friend.

Mary

Doesn't that feel better?

Marshall

Ed, Jen and Reggie, why I haven't seen them in years, Mary.

Mary

Now that you mention it, neither have I, Marshall. It's great to know they're still dispensing valuable advice to new trainees isn't it, Marshall?

Marshall

It sure is, Mary, it sure is.