Sing something.
I couldn't.
Let's neck.
Wait a minute, I'll sing.
S1 E1The Girls Want To Go To The Nightclub
[Lucy and Ethel can't find dates.]
We can always call the zoo and order a couple of dancing bears.
Yeah with all that champagne, even Ethel might look good.
We must know two men who are single and attractive. [Lucy and Ethel pause to think] Two men who are single. [pause] Two men. [pause] A boy and a dog.
Maybe we should settle for Little Boy Blue and Peter Cottontail.
Ethel and I are going dancing at the Copa.
I hope one of you knows how to lead.
I think a tuxedo is the best looking thing a man can wear.
Unless he's wearing boxing trunks.
Everybody knows you can get around a lady with a little sweet talk.
That's alright for Lucy, but it's a little longer trip around Ethel.
[Fred talking to Ricky about his anniversary]
I'd like you to join me in commemoration of an eighteen year-old tragedy.
[to Ethel about her marriage] Ever since we said "I do," there are so many things we don't.
[Lucy and Ethel are washing dishes]
Here, you missed something on this one.
That's the design.
It is?
Sure, can't you see. Flowers against a background of (scratches plate with nail) gravy.
S1 E2Be a Pal
That's the reason I married you - because you're so different than anyone I've known in Cuba.
Who'd you know in Cuba?
[looks at cards] My, this is a problem.
Honey, please, you're holding up the game.
Well, I can't decide whether to throw away my two queens or my three kings.
[explaining poker to Lucy] It's a lot like hearts, only you bet, and there isn't any old maid.
[reading from 'Dr. Humphries' book] If he hunts, take up hunting. If he fishes, take up fishing. If he golfs, take up golfing.
Ricky plays poker. I'll have to take up poking.
[reading from Dr. Humphries' book] Often, after the first years of marriage, the husband seems to lose interest in the wife. He reads the paper at the breakfast table, he doesn't answer when you talk to him. In short, he doesn't even know you're alive.
I wonder where Dr. Humphries ever met Ricky.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's I Love Lucy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.