“Unplanned Parenthood” quotes from House

Wilson

[to House] You told me you gave them your credit card...

House

And you were dumb enough to believe me. [Wilson walks into the house and sees Rachel. House picks up his jacket] Cuddy'll be back in an hour and ten minutes, I'll be back in an hour and five.

Wilson

[follows House to the door] Ohhh, no, you don't.

House

Oh, yes, I do.

Wilson

You're not gonna leave the kid?

House

Yes, I am. [begins putting on his coat] 'Cause unlike you, I don't have a conscience.

Wilson

[tries to get past House to the door] And unlike you, I'm not having sex with Cuddy, so I actually can leave.

Taub

So what do you guys think of Dr. Cheng?

Chase

Best treatment for a vascular malformation is surgery. And I think your wife thinks you shouldn't think anything of Dr. Cheng.

Taub

[to Chase] So, what was that shrug? A "Dr.-Cheng-could-work" shrug? Or a "House-is-gonna-crush-you-for-even-considering-her" shrug? [Chase shrugs again] You suck.

Chase

House is gonna hate anyone we hire, because he doesn't want to hire [gesticulates wildly] ...anyone.

Taub

So you think I should abstain? Just give the decision back to him?

Chase

Then he'll just mock you for being a wuss. You're screwed.

Wilson

Hey, hey, hey! You are not going to pin this on me. Rachel needs to be monitored for 24 hours to see that the dime passes. You know, just to make sure she doesn't die.

House

You're telling me to do the right thing while climbing out a window?!

Wilson

[to House] If Rachel wakes up, she's gonna tell Cuddy everything.

House

She's two! Last night, she was whining about the giant moose that lives outside her window.