What are you doing tonight?
Masturbating. I'd invite you, but people are already talking.
It's pathetic. You divide your nights between porn and the Discovery Channel.
Right. Playing Dance Dance Revolution is a much better choice.
“Private Lives” · Season 6, Episode 15
In this episode: Gregory House (4), James Wilson (3), Eric Foreman (1), Robert Chase (1)
You plan on doing any work today?
I thought I might do a little light doctoring in the afternoon.
[When Wilson invites Chase to go speed dating along with House]
You brought a date?
Wilson seemed to think it was a good idea.
You need to dive back into the pool.
And he has to swim in ours? You go to a bar, you bring your ugly friends.
It's not a beauty pageant.
Life is a beauty pageant. Little girls who kiss frogs expect them to turn into you.
Oh, come on. I'm not that good-looking.
Yeah, you are.
You kind of are.
So you attribute every relationship I've ever had to the height of my cheekbones?
Not the whole relationship. Just the beginning.
The rest is your hair.
[During speed dating]
I'm a diagnostician. I find out what's wrong with people, and I fix it.
MMelodie
Don't all doctors do that?
Yeah, but they can't dance like I can.
Because you're not ordinary, House. You're way out there on the fringe somewhere. I'm your best friend, and half the time I don't understand you. You're alone. Been alone your whole life.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.