Gordon quotes from Hotel Hell

Gordon

Our general manager has just walked out.

You know, the funny thing is--

Gordon

No, no. This isn't funny. That girl dedicated her life into keeping you in a hotel. Have you ever employed one member of staff?

Like, she even worked a day in her life.

How can you say that, Jennifer?

If you were here for two seconds! I've been running my ass off the whole fucking day!!

You guys don't see me do those things. I do them but you don't see it! You don't know the life I live. You have no clue. [more arguing by the staff]

Gordon

Fuck’s sake! One of you step up! If you were my daughters, I'd kick you out! (Vanda smirks) You can laugh all you fucking want. I'm not your father but what I do know is, you don't fucking deserve this! Thank you for the first meeting in nine months.

(interview) I thought Gordon was going to be nice to me!

Gordon

(walking back to his room) That was extraordinary. The only person who actually cared about this place, Mandy the general manager has gone. Those daughters are absolutely screwed.

Gordon

Do you honestly think that you are capable of running this hotel?

When I want something bad enough, and when I have my mind up to it, I always, I always accomplish.

Gordon

At 32 years of age, tell me one thing that you've accomplished in your life, on your own.

I worked when I was 14, at a fast food place...

Gordon

Are you serious? You want me to get impressed with that?

No, I; no, but I'm just saying...

Gordon

Vanda. Do you honestly think that you and your big sister are capable of running this hotel?

I wanna say yes, but it just... my head says no!

[Fake crying]

I feel like a knife has just been run through my heart. But, I can run this place by myself.

Gordon

You have to be honest with yourself.

I think we can make it with the positive reinforcement that I use.

Gordon

Oh my God... I would shit myself, asking you to run my dog up the hill. Let alone a hotel.

Gordon

So the walk in fridge, how often is that cleaned out?

Twice a week.

Gordon

Marked? Everything out? Come with me, all of you. Especially the owners.

Sounds good.

Gordon

Sounds good? Really? Fucking hell! (finds moldy tortillas in the fridge)

Oh wow man.

Gordon

Oh wow?! OH WOW?!

Fuck... (interview) Fucking moldy tortillas? There should not be fucking any moldy fucking food. It’s fucking horrible!

Gordon

(Finds a rotten potato) When was this made?

Last Saturday. Three days ago.

Gordon

Just smell it.

We need to toss it, I know that.

Gordon

(finds lasagna) And this, terrible! You should be fucking ashamed.

Okay.

Gordon

Okay?! No, it's not okay! (finds a bucket of sauce) What is that?

Tha...Black mold.

Gordon

What's it supposed to be?

Thai chili marinade.

Gordon

Thai chili marinade.

I don't know if it's been used in a while.

(interview) The sauces were from a chef who had been there in 2006 or 7 or something.

Gordon

This is exactly the same way as you run this fucking hotel. You don't give a shit.

I give a shit. I give a shit.

Gordon

If this is your dream of running a hotel, then how about manning up and look like fucking owners?!

We are. This is fucking unacceptable and it's not going to happen anymore!

Gordon

Have you checked out because you should do the only thing?

No, I haven't.

Gordon

Say to these two, "Fuck it, I’m out!"

He has not checked out!

Gordon

Can you let him talk?!

I haven't checked out and obviously, I need to pay more attention and do better at my job.

Gordon

How any of you can run a fucking business? Do you ever see three CEO'S? Three fucking general managers? Three fucking executive chefs? Huh? IT'S LIKE DUMBER, DUMBER AND DUMBEST!! ARE YOU GUYS REALLY THE FUCKING OWNERS?!

True story.

Gordon

FUCK OFF!

Gordon

I came here yesterday, and I asked everyone to be open and honest, and the first time I heard any honesty last night was with your mother. Not easy, that, is it?

I, um, don't condone your behavior.

Gordon

My behavior was what?

I just felt like you're the language that you use wasn't that of an English gentleman like I would expect.

Gordon

I'm deeply sorry about that. What language did I use?

A lot of "F" words. I don't appreciate you using that language with my angel of a mother and my sister.

Gordon

Could I just stop you there because you're over-exaggerating a little bit? Because I'm not gonna give you brownie points standing in front of your mother telling me how upset you are when you're laughing, giggling with me at the same time. You see it as it is, you have to call it as it is. I like the fact you're standing up, so it takes me to swear for you to step up and act like a man.

Please. You don't know shit.

Gordon

Did you just curse? That's disgusting behavior, young man. If you want to have a little chat with me later, together, one-on-one, I'd love that, but stop being a hypocrite. You've just sworn in front of your mother.

That was a mistake and I apologize, Mom.

Gordon

Good morning.

Good morning.

Gordon

Well, I wish it was a good morning. What did I ask you to come in to work today? What did I say? What was the one thing I said to you? Come in as a...

Boss.

Gordon

A boss. Right now, you look like a towel boy. I mean, sunglasses round your neck, badge on there, shorts on there... Who are you? Give me the name badge. (takes name badge off Brian’s shirt and throws it away) Stand out from the crowd. You're the owner. I've had a really rough night, and so has my team. Get out of here, get changed, and come back like an owner. Now fuck off!

Ready. (turns to go back to his Jeep)

Gordon

Honestly.

Gordon...

Gordon

Hurry up. No, no, no, no, I'm not listening.

Gordon, I'm coming back like a boss. I'm ready to make this whole Fort Pierce community—Gordon?

Gordon

Get out of here. Seatbelt on! (to himself) No doors and no seatbelt. Oh, my God.

I'll be— I'll be back.

Gordon

“I'll be back.”

And I'll be ready. (drives off)