Homicide: Life on the Street quotes

Felton

Oh, so that's what cous-cous is.

Lewis

Where is it written a man can't try something new every now and again?

Bolander

Who's the dolly? Who's the dolly?

Lewis

What?

Bolander

I've never seen a man eat cous-cous unless a woman was involved. Who is she?

Felton

Lewis is in love with Emma Zoole. Let me clue you in on something, pal. Cous-cous is not gonna make a difference. I've gone the health food route. Stir-fry this, low-fat that; what this is really about is control. If you allow her to control what it is you eat, it's curtains. How much more primary, how much more basic can you get than what a man puts into his stomach? Munch and crunch all the veggies you want, but in the end, new girl or not, you're out. Because you did not take a stand and that's what this is about. Not health, not love, not living fat-free. This is about women trying to dominate men.

Lewis

It's just cous-cous, man.

Bolander

How was it?

Bayliss

How was--how--how--was what?

Bolander

Your date with Emma. I heard you took her to an art gallery.

Lewis

DATE?! You had a date with Emma?! You went behind my back with Emma?!

Bayliss

Me? Meldrick, look at-- No, no, I would not do that.

Howard

Hey Bayliss, Beau says you slept with Emma Zoole in a cuffoon or something?

Lewis

What is she-- You went to bed with Emma?

Bayliss

No, Meldrick, no. We did not go to a bed together.

Lewis

You slept with MY Emma?!

Gee

I thought I smelled sex around here.

Bolander

What is a cuffoon?

Howard

I don't know. Beau was laughing so hard when he said it, he had to sit down.

Lewis

You are a disloyal son of a bitch and I don't want anything to do with you.

Pembleton

It's till death do you part. You die - you part.

Pembleton

Finding love is like solving the perfect crime: you look at every shred of evidence, you talk to every witness, follow up every lead, but more often than not, what wins in the end is just pure, dumb luck. And you my friend, are just not lucky.

Bolander

I didn't know Crosetti at all. I didn't want to. What ticks me off that I'm beginning to realize how little I know about myself. I don't know enough about who I am or how I do the job that I do to ask the right questions from my fraternal brothers to figure out what one of us is about. I keep trying to remember Crosetti. His desk was 3 feet away from mine and I can't even remember if we said any more than "hi ya" to each other for a whole entire year.

Lewis

I watched them slice up my partner in the morgue. Scheiner took the electric saw; sliced off the top of his head, took his heart, weighed it, and tossed it into a steel container like the kind you find in a restaurant kitchen. How many times I been to the M.E.? How many times I've seen him slice the top of somebody's head off? Couple hundred times maybe, maybe more. But I never really noticed, I never really watched. Till I saw Steve.

Bayliss

So you're a homicide detective and your brother is an undertaker. Between the two of you, the holiday dinner table must be a riot.

Munch

Just one life-affirming story after another.

Giardello

I know everybody is on you to do right by Steve. To make sure it doesn't come out a suicide.

Bolander

That what you're asking, Lieutenant? To make it a murder? A murder with no murderers? A murder that can't be solved? If you want me to do it; I'll do it. Hell, my clearance rate is so low these days, one more open case isn't gonna make any difference. Everybody says 'do it for Steve'. And I keep thinking, I mean, if he chose to commit suicide, what right do I have, what right does any of us have, to make that go away? I don't agree with what he did, but if that's his final statement, should I wipe that clear, just for our peace of mind? I mean, nobody wants to admit it, but everybody knows what really happened.

Bolander

The Italians are an unforgiving lot.

Giardello

I know. But we make great pasta. It balances out.

Munch

What happened to the good old bar where you just go in and talk to the bartender, you think, you get depressed, and you drink, and you go home and puke?

Lewis

It's outdated, Munch.

Pembleton

Where I come from, EVERY life has meaning... even yours, Felton, even yours.

[angry] Is this what you learned in Baltimore? Not to trust the people you love?

Howard

...What I learned in Baltimore is that people get murdered for all kinds of reasons, but a dead body is still stone-cold.

Lewis

[answering the phone, at Christmas] Merry Christmas, Homicide.

Munch

[answering the phone, at Christmas] Ho-Ho-Ho-Homicide.

Bolander

All I'm saying is that you are a pessimist, Munch!

Munch

A pessimist?

Bolander

Yeah, you're always seeing the worst in everything! You never see anything good, a moment of redemption! You don't believe in anything.

Munch

Sure I do.

Bolander

Oh, yeah?

Munch

Yeah.

Bolander

What do you believe in?

Munch

I believe that one day I'll be sitting at a bar in Hong Kong and this incredibly attractive and submissive woman with an abiding interest in art and existential philosophy will come up to me and say, "Take me home and ravish me."

Munch

How come all the miracles that have happened, happened in the past?

Bolander

What are you talking about?

Munch

Name one miracle that's happened in your lifetime.

Bolander

How 'bout the fact that I haven't killed you yet?