TV QuotesDatabase
95 QUOTES

A character in Homicide: Life on the Street

John Munch quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

Played by Richard Belzer · 95 quotes · page 4 of 7

John Munch

3rd most-quoted character in Homicide: Life on the Street: in 95 of its 413 quotes
Most scenes with: Meldrick Lewis (18), Tim Bayliss (17), Stanley Bolander (12)

Scenes with John Munch 81

Munch

A bar is like the Box. People instinctively want to confess.

[laughing] I got nothing to confess... I'm not guilty of anything. I'm trying to do my new job as well as I can... [sighs loudly] I try be helpful...People think I'm overbearing, condescending. You were right not to take that exam...It's not so much that I got in Lewis' way... I got in my own way, you know? How could I do that? Work, home... oh my god, listen to me, I am confessing. [sips on her gin fizz drink, embarrassed] This is delicious!

Munch

Want to dance?

[laughs loudly] No!

Munch

[laughs] Yes! No one'll see, there's no one conscious here! A few smooth steps on the floor... [Munch turns on the jukebox] Have a little fun.

...No.

Munch

C'mon Kay, let's dance.

No... [laughs again]

Munch

I'll let you lead, alright? C'mon.

...Let me lead, alright? You're easy to follow.

[Kay laughs while she dances with Munch]

Munch

Don't tell me you're watching soap operas again.

It's what we have instead of a sex life, Munch. Leave us alone.

What about you? How come you're so mu-si-cal this morning?

Munch

Today's no different than any other day. I'm still the same miserable me.

No, no. You were singing.

Munch

Was I?

BPBayliss and Pembleton

Mmm-hmm.

Munch

I didn't realize.

Munch

Whaddya got there Timmy? Something good? Percodan...Percocet, maybe?

They're muscle relaxants and you can't have any.

Munch

Nobody's willing to share their drugs anymore.

Munch

I'm not worried about the sniper getting me. One bullet in my noggin, that's it, it's over, I'm fine with that, but I will NOT stand by and watch you get shot again.

What're you talking about, John?

Munch

Do you think I could ever forget you and Stan and Beau getting shot? And all I could say to Gee was 'they messed up my shoes with their blood'. I was in such shock from seeing your blood everywhere, I couldn't do anything.

Alright, John.

Munch

It's not alright!

Munch

Let me explain.

No, let me explain. My personal life is off limits to the squad room, alright? I learned my lesson when I was dating Ed Danvers and you were the biggest sinner. Jokes, gossip....

Munch

I can't disagree with you Kay. But that was the old me, the new me....

Is worse. Look, Munch, I know you may find this hard to accept, but I believe in secrets. I believe that we have to have truths about ourselves that we keep from our colleagues, our neighbors, our loved ones. I don't want any one person to know everything about me. I want you to have a few pieces of the puzzle, Gee, a few pieces, my sister, see?

Munch

Kay, everyday all we do is ferret out secrets. It's our job.

Not today, Munchkin.

You know, she is pretty hot.

Munch

Kay?

Yeah. I think it's the hair.

Munch

I don't wanna think about her hair. She's one of us. She's a detective.

She's a woman. You work around a woman all day, you notice her. It's human nature.

Munch

She's a sergeant for God's sake.

Munch

I got a call. Special guest at the Waterfront tonight. Wanna guess? The Big Man's coming back. Gonna need a lot of extra light beer tonight. . .

Oh, yeah!

Munch

Cuz you know who's coming back?

The Big Man!!

Why is Bolander called the Big Man? He fat?

Munch

Granted, Stanley Bolander is far from svelte, but it's not mere bulk which has earned the Big Man his title. He has what some might call a Brogdignagian build. He is in all senses a man of magnitude. Enormously fair, tremendously honest, and a whale of a detective.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Homicide: Life on the Street pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.