Frank Pembleton quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

Pembleton

[to Bayliss] We really could have used her statement. Are you going to yell at everybody today?

Pembleton

You know, the thing about Baltimore is we're an easy-going town. You murder one Catholic priest, you've gotten our attention. But hey, you murder two, we take it personally.

Pembleton

Blind faith is the crutch of fools.

Felton

Amazing. Life is amazing.

Pembleton

Really?

Felton

This must be a mistake. Am I actually going on a routine call with Frank Pembleton?

Pembleton

You're right. It's a mistake.

Felton

Frank Pembleton only works the big investigations. This is just some dead guy.

Pembleton

See what happens when I come into the office?

Felton

Imagine - handling a routine call with Detective Frank Pembleton.

Pembleton

I'm slumming.

Pembleton

[about Bayliss] He's okay, he's thorough, he learns, but he's a snail!

Giardello

Frank, if you were a homicide, who do you think I'd assign the case to? The snail.

Pembleton

Felton, Felton, Felton!

Felton

What?

Pembleton

Help me out here, will ya?

Felton

Frank's a serious guy.

And not very well-tempered either.

Pembleton

I had my doubts but you're right. I am now convinced that Tucker killed Adena Watson.

Bayliss

Really? I'm not so sure he did anymore.

Pembleton

Jake... Jake, what kinda name is that for a dog, especially a police dog?... Jake...

Bayliss

Jake is a good name, uh, solid, dependable, easy for a dog to respond to.

Pembleton

Naw naw naw, a dog should be named, um... Rex.

Bayliss

Rex... you know I had an Irish Setter one time and his name was Molly.

Pembleton

[laughs] An Irish Setter?

Bayliss

Molly was a beautiful dog!

Pembleton

I owned a Komondor. You with that Molly, you wouldn't have a clue; would you?

Bayliss

You had a Komondor? One of them foul-smelling sheep dogs from Hungary? You want me to be impressed?

Pembleton

Well, compared with an Irish setter, my dog is a genius; an Einstein.

Bayliss

Genius? And this genius's name was Rex.

Pembleton

So you went out to dinner, then back to your place and after a night of hot, steamy, sweaty bone-rattling you laid back to light a cigarette. He got on your case about the cigarettes. It's about the smoking. It's about love, isn't it?

Howard

It shows, huh? I feel tawdry just thinking about it. I must be crazy, certifiable. I should see the department shrink about it. Frank...

Pembleton

What?

Howard

Frank, Ed Danvers is an alpha male. A stallion among ponies. A man larger than life itself.

Pembleton

You mean large as in large?

Howard

Why else do you think I quit a two pack a day habit?

Pembleton

Wait a minute, we're talking about Ed Danvers right? The midget dweeb? C'mon, cut it out.

Howard

No, he drives me insane; I see stars. I walk around feeling all this sweet pain.

Pembleton

I shouldn't be hearing this.

Howard

How do you talk about something like this? And he's constant. I mean anywhere, all day, all night, in the park, in the movie theatre.

Pembleton

Howard...

Howard

I had to set some ground rules. He can't touch me in restaraunts or the church.

Pembleton

Howard, I think you're going too far.

Howard

Frank, I was only kidding. I didn't give up cigarettes for Ed, I gave them up for me.

Pembleton

You were kidding? About everything?

Howard

Yes. No.

Pembleton

C'mon, Howard.

Howard

See, I guess you'll never know.

Felton

It's impossible to partner with someone when they're trying to quit smoking.

Pembleton

It's the guilt trip they run, right?

Felton

I feel like I gotta post bail everytime I take a cigarette out. Every time I take one out, I can feel Howard's eyes burning a hole through the back of my head, like I just abandoned her.

Pembleton

I quit smoking once. Gonna quit again. Someday for good.

Felton

Me too.

Pembleton

I quit for 3 months once.

Felton

8 months.

Pembleton

8 months? That's impressive. 8 months?

Felton

Well, not straight, no. Over the years, I quit smoking 10 times for a total of 8 months.

Pembleton

We should stop smoking.

Felton

Our partners, they know what they're doing.

Pembleton

They do; don't they? Self-righteous bastards.

Pembleton

Uh, Tim, I'm the secondary on this case. If you have something, I think you should share.

Bayliss

You should talk about sharing.

Pembleton

You said summer was hell.

Bayliss

Well... it was.

Pembleton

It's all mind over matter, Bayliss.

Bayliss

No, no, it's more than mind over matter. I know my mind and my mind remembers my ass melting into the tops of my shoes, all right? Summer was hell.

Pembleton

There's no humidity in hell.

Bayliss

What, you do a field report?

Pembleton

By all reliable accounts, there's not a single drop of water to pass between heaven and hell. Hell is a dry heat.

Bayliss

Oh. Well, book me a flight.

Pembleton

Listen, let me tell you something. We're all guilty of something, cruelty, or greed, or, or going 65 in a 55 mile per hour zone. But you know what? You wanna think about yourself as the fair-haired choir boy? You go AHEAD.

Bayliss

All right. Okay, so, uh, what are you saying, huh?

Pembleton

I'm saying you got a darkness, you, Tim Bayliss, you got a darkness inside of you. You gotta know the darker, uglier sides of yourself. You gotta recognize them, so that they're not constantly sneaking up on you. You gotta LOVE 'EM, 'cause they're part of you, because along with your virtues, they make you who you are. Virtue isn't virtue unless it slams up against vice. So consequently, your virtue's not real virtue. Until it's been tested. . . tempted.

Pembleton

You're not Catholic and you took communion?

Bayliss

Yeah, is that wrong?

Pembleton

If my God wins, you're screwed.